When we role model self-care and self-respect, rebuilding our own lives instead of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own, the addict in our lives sits up and takes notice. As you begin to experience more joy and satisfaction in your life, different choice by different choice, you open the possibility for your addicted loved one to choose to do the same thing in their life. Is there a better example of a win-win than that? … [Read more...] about What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
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Are you able to put your own needs first?
There’s nothing wrong with doing something for someone we care about, as long as what we’re doing isn’t enabling that person to stay stuck in addiction. When we do that, our self-respect takes a hit, and we feel this inside. It’s important to ask ourselves this question: Am I trying to ‘rescue’ someone so that I can feel better, or am I wanting to help them feel their own resiliency as they learn how to do things for themselves? … [Read more...] about Are you able to put your own needs first?
Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
Janet A. asks: Our 37-year-old son began smoking pot in his teens but is now using dangerous drugs like fentanyl on a daily basis. My husband and I have been trying to get him to stop, probably enabling him, but we’re not on the same page in the ways we think we should help him, and nothing is working. His brother and sisters are very worried too. Help? Hi Janet, I’m so glad you wrote to me about this. You’ve mentioned some really important things in your short question – thank you for … [Read more...] about Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?
I love the saying “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” because until we can allow ourselves to feel the discomfort of healthy change, we will continue to choose to keep ourselves stuck. The reason we people-please is to try to keep discomfort at bay. But when we can instead learn how to handle difficult emotions and begin to learn how to use them in positive ways – learning their lessons – we can then become much more authentic and life becomes much easier. … [Read more...] about Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?
The Changing Face of Self-Care
For those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, practicing holistic self-care and putting our own needs first was fleeting at best. That’s because, as children, so much of our time had to be spent on staying “safe” – and this often meant that we had to focus on making others feel good. As adults, we can shift that today. When we become aware of needing to caretake someone else, we can change direction and begin to focus on ourselves so that WE can feel good. … [Read more...] about The Changing Face of Self-Care
