The only way that an addict (or anyone else) in your life can continue to use and manipulate you is with your permission. Many loved ones of addicts are terrified of having to deal with conflict – so they say “Yes” when they really want to say “No.” But when they learn how to deal with conflict assertively and effectively with healthy boundaries and consequences that mean something to the addict, they will no longer put themselves in a position to be manipulated. … [Read more...] about An Addict’s Manipulations Will Stop When We No Longer Allow It to Happen
Addiction and Codependency
Become the Change You Want to See
If you want your addict to change, the truth is that you will need to be willing to change first. When it becomes clear that what you’ve been doing isn’t working, you’ll need to be willing to try something different. Taking good care of yourself is not only going to help you shift and grow, it’s also going to be the best role-modelling that you can give to the addict you love. It’s a classic win-win. … [Read more...] about Become the Change You Want to See
The Courage to Change the Things I Can
It’s easy to blame somebody else for the way we’re feeling - or for what’s going wrong in our lives. But the truth is that, although others may be contributing to our difficulties, it is our own responsibility to change things if we’re not happy. And since the only thing we can really change is ourselves, that is truly the best place to start! … [Read more...] about The Courage to Change the Things I Can
Are You a People-Pleaser?
People-pleasers tend to care more about what others think of them than about how they truly feel about themselves. Shifting out of this dysfunctional pattern requires being patient and gentle with ourselves, as we learn to treat ourselves with more care and self-respect. … [Read more...] about Are You a People-Pleaser?
You Can’t Control Another Person, So Stop Trying!
Because we live on a planet of free will, each of us gets to make our own decisions. When we stop trying to change what we simply cannot change – especially other people – we can begin to live a much less stressful life. … [Read more...] about You Can’t Control Another Person, So Stop Trying!
