Many loved ones of addicts who are still choosing to be in active addiction know that they have been contributing to that choice by enabling them. They want to stop and practice healthier behaviours with the addicts they love, but they often don’t know how to begin to do that. If that is your situation, please reach out for help – you don’t have to make these important changes all alone. … [Read more...] about How Can “Enabling” Ever Be a Loving Act?
Helping vs. Enabling
Just like an addict needs to reach some kind of bottom to finally make the choice to change, it is the same for loved ones of addicts. If enabling the addict you love is not bringing the results you want to see, then you may want to ask yourself if you’re ready to make a different choice. … [Read more...] about Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?
When we put the desires of the addict we love ahead of our own needs on a consistent basis, we are not actually helping the addict. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and develop their own resiliency and self-respect. If we continually rescue them from dealing with the realities of life, they will have absolutely no incentive to choose recovery from addiction. We need to love them enough to do what’s right for them – no more enabling! – even if that’s hard for us. … [Read more...] about Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
Dear Candace, My son has had addiction issues for close to 10 years, and his ex-wife even longer. His addiction escalated when his oldest daughter was a senior in high school. She went off to college which got her physically out of the situation, and her younger sister who was 12 at the time came to live with us, and is now 20 and in her third year of college. My son's addiction escalated to being arrested a few times, about three years ago he showed up in really bad shape claiming that he … [Read more...] about My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
Hi Candace! My son has been addicted to crystal meth off and on for 2 years now. Suddenly he is starting to be mean to me and blames me for everything. He is also mentally and physically disabled. I have tried everything to help him except putting him out of the house. I can't quite bring myself to do it, even though the cops (who I have had to call, lately) recommend it. He is very thin and his health is suffering but refuses to go to a real doctor. I even Marchman acted him recently but they … [Read more...] about My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth