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LoveWithBoundaries

Covid, Addiction – and You: You’re Not Alone

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Covid, addiction and you

Just like most of us these days, I’ve been getting email after email – from all the lists I’ve ever been a part of and from many I never signed up for – all about the coronavirus – complete with reminders to wash our hands and maintain social distancing. This article will not tell you to wash your hands – because you already know that. It will not tell you to self-isolate or to stay 6’ from each other – because you know that too.

What I do want to talk about today is what it’s like to have an addicted loved one – specifically, one who is still in active addiction – in this period of such uncertainty. Struggling with addiction in your family is heartbreaking enough. But now, with everything that’s happening out there – the stakes have become much higher.

And, it seems, this won’t be over any time soon. I so wish I had better news – for you, for me – for all of us.

[Read more…]

“Should I Stay or Should I Go?” The Dilemma of Addiction

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In the early 1980s, a musical group called The Clash released a song whose title went on to become almost an anthem for many people in a variety of situations. The song was called “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and it truly sums up the multitude of dilemmas that people experience in life.

Today we will be looking at how this simple question presents itself when focusing on addiction – both for the addicts and for their loved ones.

Is Addiction Actually a Disease?

As many of you know, I am an addict. I have been in active recovery for the last 32 years, with no relapses and no time off for good behavior. I have also been working as an Addiction Therapist exclusively with addicts and their families for approximately 27 years – and I am the loved one of addicts, so I know addiction from all different angles. As a result, I have moved away from believing that addiction is a disease – also known as the “medical model,” which is espoused by the 12-Step programs I attended for many years (such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, CODA, and Al-Anon), and still widely believed by a variety of addiction doctors.

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“A Star Is Born” and “Beautiful Boy”: Two New Films about Addiction are Released

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SPOILER ALERT!

Read no further is you haven’t seen these movies—but are planning to do so.

But—for all of you who have seen them both . . . keep reading!

MY OPINIONS (aka “I’m just sayin’ . . . ”)

I’ll begin by saying that these are my opinions and I understand that yours may be different. That’s okay with me—it’s fine for us to have our own points of view, and to agree to disagree. Addiction is a subject that triggers a lot of people and can cause many rifts, and I believe that there are as many ways to work a program of recovery from any addiction as there are people working those programs. So, as the saying goes, if you do have a different opinion from mine, let’s do our best to disagree without being disagreeable.

The truth is that I rarely choose to see movies about addiction. Not only do I work with addicted clients and their families almost every day in some capacity, I also have the responsibility to keep my own addiction at bay—which I’m happy to do one day at a time. Those days have rolled into a total of 30+ years clean and sober, long enough for me to be clear about how I view addiction. But I felt like it was important for me to see these films—and now I’m really glad I did. [Read more…]

How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or 
Your Loved One Has an Addiction

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This post was originally published in December 2014.

Holiday season: sitting by the fire

Another year has gone by and “The Holidays” are fast approaching—although if you’re anything like me, you’re still wondering where September went!

The time has come when we are once again seeing commercials on TV and in magazines about how wonderful the Christmas season is, that it is better to give than to receive, and how warm and loving families are, especially at this time of year.

But the reality is that, for many of people, this is not a time of peace and joy…

However, because there is so much shame associated with not having positive holiday times, most people don’t talk openly about how difficult this time of year can be for them. This can lead to intense feelings of loneliness, disappointment, and even shame.

And when any form of addiction is thrown into the mix, this season of the year can be anything but jolly.

If you can relate to any of the following, then this article may give you some helpful tips for getting through the holidays. [Read more…]

Virtual Counselling in Addiction Recovery:
It Works!

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As we are all aware, the Holiday Season is coming fast upon us and, for many people, this time of year has shifted from a season of peace and joy to a period of misery and confusion. This year, unfortunately, addiction will be an unwanted guest for more families than you might imagine.

If you feel like you need someone to talk to who can guide you and your family through these often treacherous waters—but you’re also aware that accessing in-person counselling could be difficult for you—help is on the way!

Is Virtual Counselling the Best Option for You?

When most people think about getting counselling, they imagine going to see the therapist in person and having appointments in an office environment. However, there are many reasons why these kinds of in-person therapy sessions don’t work for everyone. For example, some people need to travel for work and are therefore often not home or available to meet in person. Others may live in small communities where seeking counselling might be problematic, either for privacy issues or because there may be no qualified therapists in the area. As well, some people may have health issues that keep them from being able to attend sessions in person, while others may live a long distance away from the professional they would ideally like to work with.

If you’ve been thinking about reaching out for help but have been putting it off because attending sessions in person would be challenging for you, you might want to consider telephone or Skype counselling as an alternative.

As an Addictions Therapist in private practice, I have been providing clients all over the world with telephone and Skype counselling for a number of years. These clients receive the same benefits as those I see in person. In fact, many people prefer the advantages of virtual support for a variety of reasons. [Read more…]