When we take better care of ourselves, we begin to feel much better holistically. As we take our needs off the back burner – where they have never belonged in the first place – and take more ownership of what we actually can control (ourselves), we can stop rescuing others and thus help them develop their own resiliency. In this way, we can contribute to others feeling better about themselves as well.
When people are selfish, they basically want what they want when they want it – and they will step on whoever they need to in order to get it. Self-care, on the other hand, focuses primarily on learning how to take the best care of ourselves that we can – as holistically as possible – so that we are there for ourselves and also have the desire and the energy to help those we care about. In my opinion, that is a very clear – and important – distinction.
One of the constants of life is that we teach other people how to treat us. When we don’t speak our truth and stand up for ourselves, we make it easy for others to steamroll over us. If you’re finding this happening more often than you’d like in your life, it’s important to first look at what you’re allowing, before blaming anyone else.
Okay, okay, I know – we all saw the Oscars. And if we didn’t, we’ve certainly all heard about that slap heard around the world. People are still talking about it, several weeks later. There has been much said about what happened, from a ton of different angles – including Will Smith’s 10-year punishment. But not very much has been said about WHY it really happened. How did it get to this? What really made Will Smith do this, and why did he do it to Chris Rock?
I believe there’s some really fascinating underlying scoop, from a psychological perspective, that hasn’t been talked about nearly enough. Allow me to shine some light.
Most of us now know some of the deeper facts: Jada Pinkett Smith has alopecia, and after several emotionally devastating experiences of hair loss, she made the choice to keep her hair extremely short. Alopecia is an autoimmune disease that can be difficult and embarrassing, especially for women. Having an autoimmune condition myself, which can also be difficult and embarrassing (Crohn’s Disease), I can well understand how it might have felt for her to have been the butt of the GI Jane joke. Many of us have watched Chris Rock’s shtick – he insults people for a living and not only does he get away with it, but he also gets quite wealthy doing it.
That in itself is a fascinating situation in our society. [Read more…]
We all know how rampant addiction has become – we see it all around us and hear about it in our news nearly every day. Mostly, our society focuses on mind-altering addiction, consisting of drugs and alcohol. There are also many other kinds of mood-altering or process addictions, which are more behavioural in nature such as gambling, smoking, overspending, eating disorders, and sex addiction of various types.
Millions of families all over the world are grappling with some sort of addiction these days – and most of them have no idea how to find or access any help.
And even though there is plenty of help available to people who are addicted, there is still very little assistance or counselling for their loved ones. When there is addiction in a family, everyone is affected and everyone needs to heal – otherwise, the addiction just continues to hold everybody emotionally hostage.
So – how is a family supposed to find the skilled, experienced, and compassionate help they so desperately need? This article is intended to be a guide for you, if you are being run ragged by your loved one’s addiction. [Read more…]
