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Candace Plattor, M.A.Registered Clinical Counsellor
Candace Plattor, M.A.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

Helping vs. Enabling

November 22, 2023 by Candace Plattor

Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?

Just like an addict needs to reach some kind of bottom to finally make the choice to change, it is the same for loved ones of addicts. If enabling the addict you love is not bringing the results you want to see, then you may want to ask yourself if you’re ready to make a different choice. … [Read more...] about Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?

Filed Under: Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction and Codependency, Addiction recovery, Helping vs. Enabling, loving an addict

October 25, 2023 by Candace Plattor

Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act

When we put the desires of the addict we love ahead of our own needs on a consistent basis, we are not actually helping the addict. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and develop their own resiliency and self-respect. If we continually rescue them from dealing with the realities of life, they will have absolutely no incentive to choose recovery from addiction. We need to love them enough to do what’s right for them – no more enabling! – even if that’s hard for us. … [Read more...] about Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act

Filed Under: Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction in the family, Addiction recovery, Helping vs. Enabling, loving an addict, Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones

July 26, 2023 by Candace Plattor

Are you able to put your own needs first?

  There’s nothing wrong with doing something for someone we care about, as long as what we’re doing isn’t enabling that person to stay stuck in addiction. When we do that, our self-respect takes a hit, and we feel this inside. It’s important to ask ourselves this question:  Am I trying to ‘rescue’ someone so that I can feel better, or am I wanting to help them feel their own resiliency as they learn how to do things for themselves? … [Read more...] about Are you able to put your own needs first?

Filed Under: Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction and Codependency, Addiction recovery, Healthy self-care, Helping vs. Enabling

May 2, 2023 by Candace Plattor

Overdosing on the Job? Naloxone to the Rescue! Part Two

Enabling vs. Helping My simple definition of enabling is when we do for others what they can – and indeed should – be doing for themselves. In my view, what’s happening on some of these worksites is enabling at its worst. At a deeper level, addicts know exactly what they’re doing – they know they’re crippling their own lives and continually hurting the people who love them. Show me an addict who doesn’t know that they now risk dying every time they use because of the toxic supply, and I’ll show … [Read more...] about Overdosing on the Job? Naloxone to the Rescue! Part Two

Filed Under: Addiction, Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction in the family, Addiction recovery, Helping vs. Enabling

February 27, 2023 by Candace Plattor

Am I Care-giving or Am I Care-taking?

A brief definition of enabling is when we do for someone else what they can - and actually should - be doing for themselves.  When we care-take others, we are frequently leaving our own needs on the back burner on a fairly consistent basis. When we are care-givers, we are assisting those who truly need our help because they cannot manage something on their own. Care-taking generally builds codependent relationships and helps only to keep people stuck.  Care-giving helps to develop healthy, … [Read more...] about Am I Care-giving or Am I Care-taking?

Filed Under: Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction recovery, Helping vs. Enabling, Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones

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If nothing ever changed

“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”

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