Just like an addict needs to reach some kind of bottom to finally make the choice to change, it is the same for loved ones of addicts. If enabling the addict you love is not bringing the results you want to see, then you may want to ask yourself if you’re ready to make a different choice. … [Read more...] about Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?
Helping vs. Enabling
When we put the desires of the addict we love ahead of our own needs on a consistent basis, we are not actually helping the addict. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and develop their own resiliency and self-respect. If we continually rescue them from dealing with the realities of life, they will have absolutely no incentive to choose recovery from addiction. We need to love them enough to do what’s right for them – no more enabling! – even if that’s hard for us. … [Read more...] about Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
There’s nothing wrong with doing something for someone we care about, as long as what we’re doing isn’t enabling that person to stay stuck in addiction. When we do that, our self-respect takes a hit, and we feel this inside. It’s important to ask ourselves this question: Am I trying to ‘rescue’ someone so that I can feel better, or am I wanting to help them feel their own resiliency as they learn how to do things for themselves? … [Read more...] about Are you able to put your own needs first?
Enabling vs. Helping My simple definition of enabling is when we do for others what they can – and indeed should – be doing for themselves. In my view, what’s happening on some of these worksites is enabling at its worst. At a deeper level, addicts know exactly what they’re doing – they know they’re crippling their own lives and continually hurting the people who love them. Show me an addict who doesn’t know that they now risk dying every time they use because of the toxic supply, and I’ll show … [Read more...] about Overdosing on the Job? Naloxone to the Rescue! Part Two
A brief definition of enabling is when we do for someone else what they can - and actually should - be doing for themselves. When we care-take others, we are frequently leaving our own needs on the back burner on a fairly consistent basis. When we are care-givers, we are assisting those who truly need our help because they cannot manage something on their own. Care-taking generally builds codependent relationships and helps only to keep people stuck. Care-giving helps to develop healthy, … [Read more...] about Am I Care-giving or Am I Care-taking?