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Candace Plattor, M.A.Registered Clinical Counsellor
Candace Plattor, M.A.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

Blog Archives

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2025 • 2024 • 2023 • 2022 • 2021 • 2020 • 2019 • 2018 • 2017 • 2016 • 2015 • 2014 • 2013 • 2012 • 2011 • 2010

2025
  • June 4 : How do we deal with the shame that comes from living with an addict?
  • April 9 : Loving an Addict Without Losing Yourself
  • March 25 : The 16 Steps: An Alternative to 12-Step Programs
  • March 18 : Reborn in Recovery:
    A New Life Beyond Addiction
  • March 12 : The “Magic Question” Can Tell You a Lot
  • February 19 : Everyone is Affected,
    and Everyone Needs to Heal
  • February 10 : When Gambling Becomes a Problem:
  • February 5 : Valentine’s Day Reimagined:
    From Codependency to Self-Love
  • January 29 : Spiritual Self-Care
  • January 27 : When The Smoke Clears
  • January 21 : The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love
  • January 8 : How can we educate young people to understand that even experimenting with pot can be a slippery slope?
  • January 8 : Accepting “What Is”, Even When It’s Difficult
2024
  • December 18 : Our Secrets Keep Us Sick
  • December 12 : Navigating Addiction during the Christmas Season: A Guide to Finding Peace and Support
  • December 4 : What role does family therapy play in addiction recovery?
  • November 26 : Forging Connections to Address Substance Use, Families and Recovery
  • November 14 : What are some signs that my loved one may be relapsing?
  • October 24 : Do the same rules apply to people with dual diagnosis?
  • October 16 : How Do You Feel about Uncertainty?
  • October 2 : What Do I Need Right Now?
  • September 24 : The Transformative Power of Recovery Month: Understanding, Helping, and Celebrating
  • September 18 : What Do We REALLY Have Control Over?
  • September 11 : How do you manage the feelings of impending doom?
  • August 28 : How can I support my loved one’s recovery without enabling their addiction?
  • August 21 : Strategies for Preventing Burnout
    in Work and Life
  • August 19 : Should We Move to Avoid a Trigger?
  • August 14 : Be a Role Model for the Addict You Love
  • July 31 : The Importance of Loved Ones of Addicts Being United
  • July 24 : People Using Addictive Behaviours Are Making That Choice
  • July 10 : Recognizing Signs of addiction in Employees
  • July 4 : What Do Practicing Addicts REALLY Feel?
  • June 26 : Encouraging Family Participation in the Journey Toward Recovery: A Reflection on World Drug Day
  • June 12 : Are You Filling Your Tank?
  • June 11 : Mental Health, Addictive Behaviours and How Families Can Help
  • June 5 : How Can We Explain That Recovery Is a Choice?
  • May 30 : Are You Making Self-Care a Priority?
  • May 22 : How to Talk with a Loved One Who Denies They Are Addicted
  • May 1 : Navigating the Ripple Effects of Addiction in Families
  • April 24 : Important Steps Loved Ones Can Take to Support Recovery
  • April 19 : It’s Okay to Ask for Help!
  • April 10 : Harnessing the Law of Attraction for Recovery
  • April 9 : How can a colleague or a friend raise a concern about suspicions of addiction?
  • February 28 : How Can We Educate Young People About Pot?
  • February 14 : The Concept of “Choice” in Addiction
  • February 8 : Valentine’s Day Reimagined:
    From Codependency to Self-Love
  • January 24 : All Change Begins with Self-Awareness
  • January 17 : How Do I Choose the Right Addiction Treatment Facility?
  • January 10 : The Importance of Self-Care
  • January 4 : Coping with Family Relationships After the Holidays – When You Love an Addict
  • January 3 : How Do I Know When I’m Helping and Not Enabling?
2023
  • December 28 : Rethinking New Year’s: Embrace Intentions, Not Just Resolutions
  • December 20 : The Important Downside of “Powerlessness”
  • December 15 : Navigating Addiction
    During the Festive Season
  • December 6 : How Can “Enabling” Ever Be a Loving Act?
  • November 24 : The 2023 CCSA Issues of Substance Conference
  • November 22 : Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?
  • November 8 : The Vicious Cycle of Low Self-Respect
  • October 25 : Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
  • October 11 : Who Are You Taking Care of First?
  • September 26 : Which Matters More to You?
  • September 1 : My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
  • August 29 : Honouring International Overdose Awareness Day: Remembering, Supporting, and Advocating for Change
  • August 11 : My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth
  • August 9 : What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
  • July 26 : Are you able to put your own needs first?
  • July 19 : Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
  • July 13 : Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?
  • June 28 : The Changing Face of Self-Care
  • June 26 : Online Gambling
  • June 15 : Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
  • June 14 : Should We Pay Our Addicted Daughter’s Rent?
  • May 31 : Be Gentle with Yourself
  • May 17 : Trust Your Inner Guidance
  • May 15 : I’m looking for help dealing with self-centredness
  • May 4 : My Partner Smokes Pot in the Car While Driving
  • May 2 : Overdosing on the Job? Naloxone to the Rescue! Part Two
  • May 1 : Is it advisable to provide a relative with her own apartment?
  • April 26 : Self-Care and Selfishness are NOT The Same Thing
  • April 21 : Overdosing on the Job? Naloxone to the Rescue! Part One
  • April 17 : What Should I Do About My Daughter Stealing from Me?
  • April 12 : An Addict’s Manipulations Will Stop When We No Longer Allow It to Happen
  • April 3 : How Can I Make My Son Go to Rehab?
  • March 29 : Become the Change You Want to See
  • March 15 : The Courage to Change the Things I Can
  • March 6 : Boundaries on family trips
  • February 27 : Am I Care-giving or Am I Care-taking?
  • January 30 : My brother needs ongoing help for past trauma
  • January 9 : My adult son wants money for his account in jail
2022
  • November 21 : How do I stay firm in my decision with an addict?
  • November 14 : Matthew Perry: Addiction and Recovery
  • November 7 : How likely is it someone will relapse if they have several years clean and sober?
  • October 26 : If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
  • October 24 : Is it okay for a drug addict in recovery to drink?
  • October 12 : Learn How to Use the Serenity Prayer in Your Own Life
  • October 10 : A sibling who relapses after rehab
  • October 10 : When Healers Burn Out: Causes and Prevention of Occupational Stress Among Health Care Professionals
  • October 3 : How do I know when it’s time to say “I’m done!” with an addict?
  • September 28 : Self-Care Leads to Self-Respect
  • September 26 : How do I know if my husband is addicted?
  • September 19 : How do I know if I’m “loving my addict to death” as you mentioned in your TEDx talk?
  • September 14 : Holistic Self-Care Is Vital to a Healthy Recovery
  • September 12 : How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
  • September 10 : What Are You Thinking? How Your Thoughts Affect Your Recovery from Addiction
  • September 5 : My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned
  • August 29 : My daughter’s boyfriend mistreats her
  • August 24 : The Difference between “Self-Care” and “Selfish”
  • August 22 : I’m wondering if my husband might be using drugs
  • August 15 : My husband and I are fighting about him enabling our son
  • August 10 : Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
  • August 10 : Top 10 Survival Tips For Loving an Addicted Person
  • August 8 : My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship
  • August 1 : How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
  • July 27 : Are You a People-Pleaser?
  • July 25 : How do I know if my daughter is using?
  • July 13 : The Worst Kind of Powerlessness
  • July 11 : If my daughter leaves rehab, what do I do?
  • July 10 : The Serenity Prayer: How it Can Help Your Recovery from Addiction
  • July 4 : What do you mean when you say that addiction is a “choice”?
  • June 22 : You Can’t Control Another Person, So Stop Trying!
  • June 10 : The Name of the Game: How to Revive Your Ailing Self-Respect
  • June 8 : Be the Change You Want to See
  • June 3 : Yet Another Addiction Strategy from the BC Government: Is This the Best You’ve Got?
  • May 25 : The Sting of Codependency
  • May 11 : What is Really Behind the Need to Enable?
  • May 10 : Recovering from Codependency: The Truth About People-Pleasing
  • April 27 : The Healthiest Way to Relate Is from a Place of Authenticity
  • April 20 : We Teach Others How to Treat Us
  • April 12 : That Night at the Oscars: How Does Dysfunction Like This Even Happen?
  • April 10 : The Knee-bone’s Connected to the Thigh-bone: The Benefits of Healing Holistically from Addictive Behaviours
  • March 30 : You CAN Live Conflict-Free When You Love an Addict
  • March 22 : Family Addiction Counselling:
    3 Sure-Fire Tips to Find the Right Therapist for You and Your Family
  • March 10 : Denial and Addiction: Becoming Aware of the Inner Voice that Leads to Self-Destruction
  • March 9 : Addicts Need to Understand Their Own Resiliency
  • February 23 : Codependency: A Self-Protective Behaviour? Here’s a Simple Definition
  • February 16 : Riding that Roller Coaster of Chaos
  • February 10 : Coming Out of Our Comfort Zones: Recovery From Addiction
  • February 9 : Another Valentine’s Day: Codependent Nightmare or Ultimate Self-Care?
  • January 26 : How to Stay Healthy While Loving an Addict
  • January 12 : How to Support Your Addict in Healthy Ways
  • January 10 : Allowing Discomfort: The Secret to Successful Recovery From Addictive Behaviours Challenging Your “Yeah But’s…”
2021
  • December 29 : Setting Boundaries with Your Addicted Loved One
  • December 28 : Recovery from Codependency: Self-Awareness Is the Key
  • December 22 : Allowing the Addict You Love to Be Uncomfortable in Their Addiction
  • December 15 : Addiction and the Holidays: Doing It Differently This Year
  • December 8 : Let’s Give Addicts Their Power Back!
  • November 24 : Holding the Addict in Your Life Accountable
  • November 18 : Am I Helping or Enabling? The Wisdom to Know the Difference
  • November 10 : Dealing with Conflict When You Love an Addict
  • November 8 : Setting Boundaries with an Addict:
    “I Just Don’t Have the Heart.”
  • February 5 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2020
  • April 21 : Covid, Addiction – and You: You’re Not Alone
  • February 10 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2019
  • December 30 : New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead!
  • December 10 : Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
  • November 22 : A New Way to Understand Addiction
  • September 20 : Loving Someone with an Addiction: A Life of Chaos
  • July 24 : The Law of Attraction: Help for Addiction Recovery
  • July 10 : “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” The Dilemma of Addiction
  • June 26 : The Secret to Stopping Addiction in Your Family—Forever
  • February 11 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2018
  • December 28 : New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead
  • December 14 : Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
  • November 8 : “A Star Is Born” and “Beautiful Boy”: Two New Films about Addiction are Released
  • April 4 : How to Help the Addict You Love to Become Healthy: The Family’s Role in Addiction Recovery
  • February 28 : Loving an Addict: Are You Enabling or Ennobling?
  • February 12 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2017
  • December 27 : New Year’s Resolutions?
    Try Intentions Instead!
  • December 12 : How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or 
Your Loved One Has an Addiction
  • November 24 : Virtual Counselling in Addiction Recovery:
    It Works!
  • July 10 : 30 Years Clean & Sober: My Gratitude Speaks
  • May 29 : Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone: Recovery from Addictive Behaviors
  • March 20 : Narcissism and Addiction: What We Need to Know
  • February 7 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
  • January 2 : New Year’s Resolutions?
    Try Intentions Instead!
2016
  • December 15 : How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or Your Loved One Has an Addiction
  • November 22 : Disagreeing without Being Disagreeable: The Grown-up’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence
  • October 3 : The Journey of Recovery for an Addict’s Loved Ones: Are You Going Upstream or Downstream?
  • August 2 : Are You Trying to Solve the Unsolvable? The Best Way to Know the Difference
  • May 25 : Holistic Self-Care When Loving an Addict
  • April 25 : If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door
  • March 29 : When You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going: Having the Courage to Stay the Course
  • March 2 : Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2
  • February 24 : Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1
  • February 8 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2015
  • December 29 : New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead!
  • December 1 : Surviving the Holidays When Loving an Addict
  • October 20 : Sometimes Love Looks Like “No”: When to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries
  • September 28 : Family Addiction: Are You Affected by Another Person’s Addictive Behaviours?
  • August 19 : Fentanyl – What We Can Do About It
  • August 10 : I’ve Been Chosen as a “Best Blogger”!
  • July 20 : Addiction and Recovery: What Do Addicts REALLY Need?
  • June 19 : Marijuana IS Addictive
  • June 4 : Is It a Reason or an Excuse? Maintaining Your Self-Respect in the Face Of Life’s Challenges
  • March 26 : Saying NO to Manipulation: What Happens When We Enable an Addict?
  • March 12 : Are You the Loved One of an Addict? Saying NO to Manipulation
  • February 23 : The Truth about Bullying – And What We Can Do about It
  • January 26 : Addiction and Relapse: A “Normal, Expected” Part of Recovery?
  • January 12 : Lassana Bathily – A True Hero
2014
  • December 12 : How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or Your Loved One Has an Addiction
  • November 6 : Violence Against Women: Can We Really Be Shocked by Jian Ghomeshi?
  • October 8 : Stephen Collins’ Secret is Out: How Society Enables Addiction
  • September 9 : Attention All Loved Ones of Addicts: Let’s Come out of the Shame Closet and Recover!
  • August 12 : Robin Williams, Dead at 63: Words No One Ever Wanted to Hear
  • July 16 : “I Know I’m Enabling But….” Recovery from Addiction in the Family
  • June 4 : 12-Year-Olds Stabbing 12-Year-Olds: Are We Paying Attention Yet?
  • May 26 : Yet Another Shooting Spree: Will This Madness EVER End?
  • May 13 : AA Agnostica: Alternative Steps for Recovery from Addiction
  • April 21 : More Violence—Over a 22-Cent Soda Tax! Whaaat???
  • April 16 : …And the Stabbings Continue… What’s Really Going On?
  • April 11 : More High School Violence: How Fed-Up Are You?
  • March 21 : The Portland Hotel Society: If It Looks Like a Duck and Quacks Like a Duck…
  • March 5 : Rob Ford and Jimmy Kimmel: A Shameful Travesty
  • February 24 : The Sad Story of Alex Radita: How Many More Children Have to Die at Their Parents’ Hands?
  • February 18 : Crack Pipe Vending Machines: The New Kids on the Block
  • February 12 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
  • February 4 : Philip Seymour Hoffman: How Many More Do We Have to Lose?
  • January 24 : Justin Bieber: The Latest Casualty of ‘Enabling’
2013
  • December 30 : New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead
  • November 20 : Rob Ford’s Dilemma: His Denial or Our Blind Spots?
  • November 13 : The Secret of Self-Respect: We Teach Other People How to Treat Us
  • October 10 : “Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: Surviving the Holidays” Free Tele-Class
  • October 2 : Sometimes Love Looks like “No”: When to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries
  • August 20 : Even More Recovery in Vancouver: Our 2nd Annual Recovery Day is Coming Soon!
  • July 17 : Cory Monteith’s Death: What Was He Thinking?
  • July 9 : About Matthew Perry
  • July 3 : What if… Addiction Isn’t Really a “Disease”?
  • June 10 : Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone: Recovery from Addictive Behaviors
  • April 22 : Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: The Importance of Setting Boundaries
  • March 18 : Addiction in the Family: Is Someone You Love Affected by Another Person’s Addiction?
  • February 11 : From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
2012
  • December 16 : Newtown, Connecticut: Let’s Stop the Insanity
  • December 14 : Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
  • November 16 : It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year–or is it…?
  • October 27 : Rape is Rape
  • October 24 : Groovin’—Clean & Sober—On a Sunday Afternoon: Vancouver Celebrates “Recovery Day”
  • September 11 : Doctors and Addiction: How Much Does YOUR Physician Really Know?
  • August 22 : Carole James’ Private Struggle: The Loved One of an Addict Shares Her Story
  • July 21 : Terror in Colorado: The Dark Knight of No-Soul
  • July 20 : Sir Elton: A Man of Courageous Moxie
  • June 18 : Prescription Addiction–in BABIES??
  • May 22 : What I Learned on My Spring Stay-cation
  • May 2 : If Nothing Ever Changed, There Would Be No Butterflies: The Power of Transformation
  • February 12 : Whitney Houston: Thank You for Your Help
  • February 7 : Attachment or Authenticity: Which Would You Choose?
2011
  • December 22 : 5 Tips for Avoiding Holiday Stress and Overindulgence
  • September 11 : Get Out of My Pocket, Uncle Sam: US Tax Law Hits Canadians with a Sledgehammer
  • July 27 : Amy Winehouse: “No no no” to Rehab
  • July 18 : It Was 24 Years Ago Today…
  • June 22 : Creating Vancouver’s “Wall of Hope”
  • June 18 : Stickies of Gratitude
  • June 16 : The Morning After — Shame on WHO??
  • May 26 : “Ooops — Oh well!” : The Antidote to Perfectionism
  • April 10 : “Talks-It” or “Toxic” ~ Our Choice Point in Relationships
  • March 14 : Earthquake in Japan: A Personal Story
  • March 11 : Addiction in the Family: Or… What’s Up with Charlie??
  • February 21 : Handling Disappointment: Riding the Wave
  • January 30 : My Rx for a Happy Valentine’s Day: Become Your Own True Love
2010
  • December 28 : New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead
  • December 14 : I’ll Be Sane For Christmas
  • November 10 : Evolving Beyond the 12 Steps: The 16-Step Model looks to Empower, not Shame, on the Road to Recovery
  • September 27 : BC Gambling Industry Poses Problems for the Vulnerable
  • September 10 : The Voices in our Heads
  • August 27 : My Friend is Gone
  • August 18 : This Too Shall Pass
  • August 1 : Kenneth Klassen’s Pedophilia: Another Form of Sex Addiction
  • July 21 : Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail

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Recent Posts

  • How do we deal with the shame that comes from living with an addict?
  • Loving an Addict Without Losing Yourself
  • The 16 Steps: An Alternative to 12-Step Programs
  • Reborn in Recovery:
    A New Life Beyond Addiction
  • The “Magic Question” Can Tell You a Lot

TEDxBearCreekPark talk: How to Love with Boundaries

TEDxBearCreekPark talk:
How to Love with Boundaries

Candace Plattor speaking at TEDx

If nothing ever changed

“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”

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