Too often, we are taught that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own. “What will the neighbours say?” is a refrain I heard often in my childhood. But now I know better. Today I understand that how I feel about myself – my own self-respect – is the most important thing that I either have or don’t have. Self-respect is no longer negotiable in my life – I will not be giving it up again. … [Read more...] about Which Matters More to You?
When we role model self-care and self-respect, rebuilding our own lives instead of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own, the addict in our lives sits up and takes notice. As you begin to experience more joy and satisfaction in your life, different choice by different choice, you open the possibility for your addicted loved one to choose to do the same thing in their life. Is there a better example of a win-win than that? … [Read more...] about What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
When we take better care of ourselves, we begin to feel much better holistically. As we take our needs off the back burner - where they have never belonged in the first place - and take more ownership of what we actually can control (ourselves), we can stop rescuing others and thus help them develop their own resiliency. In this way, we can contribute to others feeling better about themselves as well. … [Read more...] about Self-Care Leads to Self-Respect
One of the constants of life is that we teach other people how to treat us. When we don’t speak our truth and stand up for ourselves, we make it easy for others to steamroll over us. If you’re finding this happening more often than you’d like in your life, it’s important to first look at what you’re allowing, before blaming anyone else. … [Read more...] about We Teach Others How to Treat Us
Ah, Valentine's Day, the fantasy-filled holiday that comes right after we've managed to get ourselves through another year of Christmas and New Year's Eve! Have you ever wondered whose bright idea it was to have those three holidays in a row? For many people, the 3-month period of December through February can be the most difficult and depressing time of the year, and this is especially true for those whose significant relationships are problematic. For people with addictive behaviours, as … [Read more...] about From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care