Janet A. asks: Our 37-year-old son began smoking pot in his teens but is now using dangerous drugs like fentanyl on a daily basis. My husband and I have been trying to get him to stop, probably enabling him, but we’re not on the same page in the ways we think we should help him, and nothing is working. His brother and sisters are very worried too. Help? Hi Janet, I’m so glad you wrote to me about this. You’ve mentioned some really important things in your short question – thank you for … [Read more...] about Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
asking for help when loving an addict
We all have what I like to call an “inner GPS” that tells us when we are on track and when we aren’t. We can know this by the way we feel inside. It’s important for us to listen to this inner voice so that we can build up both our self-trust and our self-respect. … [Read more...] about Trust Your Inner Guidance
The way I see it, there are two kinds of pain. There is the pain that goes on and on and on - and there is the pain that hurts, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When we love an addict and want them to change, we find that we need to change first, in order for that to happen. Changing oneself is often not an easy process in the short run - but in the long run, it’s so worth it! Difficult family dynamics transform and the addicts we love often also make the choice to make the very … [Read more...] about Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
Penny C. asks: How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely? He doesn’t seem to want to do that. Hi Penny, The way it works is that if loved ones want to see changes in the addicts they love, they will need to make some changes within themselves first. (This is a process, and you may need to seek out some help with it.) So what you can say to him is “I don’t want to live with someone who drinks anymore. I would like our relationship to continue, and I’m hoping you’re … [Read more...] about How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
JN asks: How do I know if my daughter is using? I think she is but she tells me she’s not. She lives with me so we go through this with each other fairly often. Thanks for your question, JN. It will depend on whether she's using mind-altering substances or mood-altering behaviours (like gambling, shopping, etc.). And sometimes it’s harder to tell with drugs than with alcohol, because there is little or no smell with most of them. But if you’ve been in this situation for a while with your … [Read more...] about How do I know if my daughter is using?