Staying clean and sober takes work Archives

The Portland Hotel Society: If It Looks Like a Duck and Quacks Like a Duck…

March 21, 2014 by Candace Plattor

Maybe—just maybe—it’s actually a duck?

I just couldn’t let this story go by without writing about it again. The long and short of it is that the higher (no pun intended) authorities of the Portland Hotel Society (PHS) and several of their own Board of Directors are stepping down, as ordered by the BC Government, in order to avoid receivership.

So what does this mean? Well, according to the government, in the 2012-2013 fiscal year, PHS received a cool $21 million in funding. Of that money, we are now being shown that $2.8 million was spent on administration costs and a whopping $15.3 million on employee-related expenses, with an astonishing $358,724 spent on staff travel expenses—such as going on holiday to Disneyland. What??

(For more information, please go directly to the article.)

I simply cannot wrap my head around this!

And all of this was going on while so many of the people they claim to have served in the Downtown Eastside (DTES) lived the miserable life of active addiction, often in cockroach-ridden premises, scrounging for food—and anything else that could feed their addiction—in dumpsters in DTES alleyways.

Sure, that shows how much they really care about their clients.

I heard Mark Townsend, Executive Director of PHS (including the safe injection site, Insite), being interviewed on TV the other night. He seemed quite proud when he stated that PHS hadn’t spent any taxpayer money doing this—as if that somehow made it okay. He appeared to have no shame or remorse at all as he admitted that the money spent on such selfish foolishness came from ‘private donations.’ Even if that’s true, even if none of my money or yours funded those trips to Disneyland and beyond, how must the private donors feel about this—and how soon will they open their coffers again to fund legitimate programs for those who desperately need them?

And from what I currently understand, even though the guilty are resigning, the PHS programs will remain intact—so I’m guessing this means that crack pipes will continue to be sold out of vending machines in the DTES for 25 cents a pop, and that the remaining PHS staff will still be teaching alcoholics how to make their own booze.

And if I’m not mistaken, you and I will continue to be paying for that.

But who’s paying for what isn’t the real issue for me, and I want to take this opportunity to clarify my position. After my recent blog post about the PHS, many readers accused me of not believing in harm reduction. (Crack Pipe Vending Machines: The New Kids on the Block.) That is simply not the case. I do believe in harm reduction. As an Addiction Therapist with over 20 years working in this field, how could I not understand that there is a place for harm reduction on the addiction recovery continuum? Those of us who help people with addictions need to meet them where they are to begin with—but, in my opinion, always with an eye on how we can move addicts into recovery, rather than keeping them stuck in what the PHS considers to be harm reduction.

Is it harm reduction to teach an alcoholic how to make alcohol? Of course I understand the reasoning behind such a program—that it’s better for alcoholics if they don’t drink mouthwash and other harsh toxic products that contain alcohol. I personally and professionally know how sick people can become from addiction and I don’t want anyone to have to suffer like that. I’m into holistic health, from every possible angle—but by not encouraging detox and treatment and instead selling clients crack pipes for a quarter, I do believe we are hurting and not helping in the long run.

Clearly, many of the PHS’s other decisions haven’t been so terrific either, as we are now finding out.

I’m hoping that whoever takes over for Townsend—and for his other cronies who believe in their own sense of righteous importance and entitlement—will look again at these programs with clearer eyes and sharper minds. I truly hope we will soon see some positive changes in this long-running DTES agency that has served a lot of needy people.

I deeply hope they stop the enabling and actually begin to provide the long-term help that their addicted clients so desperately need.

Crack Pipe Vending Machines: The New Kids on the Block

February 18, 2014 by Candace Plattor

So now Vancouver has crack pipe vending machines—have you heard?

Actually, maybe you didn’t hear. Even if you live in the Vancouver area, you may not have heard. It seems to me that this was on the news, local and nationally, for about two nights and then it was not covered anymore—and has now been virtually forgotten about.

But somehow, I am unable to forget about it.

According to those scanty news reports, Vancouver Coastal Health (VCH) has approved the Portland Hotel in the Downtown Eastside to sport a newly transformed sandwich vending machine now containing crack pipes on their premises. There is another one residing somewhere else in the Downtown Eastside—that’s all I heard about the other location on the broadcasts I saw. These vending machines stock clean crack pipes that addicts can purchase for 25 cents each. (I can’t help but wonder if these machines are supervised 24 hours a day or whether even kids can buy a few for mere quarters at a time, perhaps just for a lark to start with—maybe even your kids or your children’s kids.)

And I also have to wonder, whose bright idea is this?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept of harm reduction very well, both personally and professionally. When I was in active addiction myself, many years ago, I tried to practice harm reduction any number of times, to no avail—always finding my way back into the desperation of full-blown addiction before too long. When people are addicted and continue using either a mind-altering substance or a mood-altering behaviour, even on a harm-reduction basis, it is really only a matter of time before most will be using as much if not more than they were prior to trying that particular experiment.

When people are addicted, the way to become healthy is to STOP the addiction, not try whatever they can to manipulate it.

As an Addiction Therapist for over 20 years, I have never once worked with an addicted client who was able to ‘control’ their addictive behaviour for very long. In my lengthy experience with addiction, both as a practicing addict and as a professional therapist, I’ve seen that controlled drinking and/or using just doesn’t work because, as we who work in this field well know, addiction is a progressive condition that becomes worse over time.

I also understand the various arguments that places like the Portland Hotel and Insite have put forward—the loudest, of course, being that supplying addicts with clean crack pipes will decrease the spread of HIV and HEP C. Apparently, Insite has statistics claiming this to be true about providing clean needles to heroin addicts—and maybe it is. I haven’t seen those stats. But even if that is the case, there are a few other issues that I believe they are not getting about this whole plan.

Please allow me to explain some of them to you.

These addicts are being enabled to continue using crack, a toxic and sometimes deadly substance that causes people to live in dreadful situations with virtually no sense of worth or self-respect. They know they’re addicts, they know they are a drain on society, they know they shouldn’t be doing this to themselves or to their loved ones who worry about them constantly—and most wish they didn’t have to. Our government has cut the number of detox beds and accessible treatment programs substantially over the years. There is little funding currently allotted for prevention and education—and yet this same government agency is now spending money to stock crack pipes in vending machines in the very area of our city where the largest population of people’s lives have been absolutely decimated by continued drug use.

“Oh, come on, Candace,“ I can hear some of you say. “What’s the big deal, it’s only 25 cents a pop!”

Well, let me assure you that there are hundreds of crack addicts living in the Downtown Eastside, who will each buy several of these pipes every day. To them, it may only be a buck a day to spend—but the reality is that these machines can easily sell a lot of pipes to a lot of addicts every day and every night. When we tally it up, that can add up to a lot of money being collected from addicts for crack pipes.

Does anyone know yet whose pockets that money will line? I know I don’t.

And it seems quite likely that it will be my tax dollars funding this crazy project—and your tax dollars too. Were any of us consulted before this went into effect? I know I wasn’t.

But aside from the issue of the money, for me the most important question for us to be asking is, “What message are we sending to the addicts buying the crack pipes?” The people at Insite and the Portland Hotel will argue that we’re letting them know we care about their health by doing this.

My response to that is, “Are you kidding me?” (And that’s me, putting it nicely.)

If we truly cared about the addicts in our city, we would find ways to stop enabling them, rather than continuing despicable practices like this one. If we cared, we would be taking the time to write letters and make phone calls and lobby our elected officials—you know, the ones who have decided to hide their collective head in the sand (can we say “denial’?) and not pay attention to the terrible enabling these crack pipe machines are really about—and as caring citizens of this magnificent city we live in, we would implore them to put money into prevention, education, detox, and treatment instead of letting the crack addicts just continue to use, day in and day out, with 25 cent crack pipes that the government itself is contributing to the addicts’ continued addiction.

How can this ridiculous idea actually be helping anyone, either in the short run or the long run? How can these people at the Portland Hotel look at themselves in the mirror and be okay with who they see?

Are you kidding me??

Philip Seymour Hoffman: How Many More Do We Have to Lose?

February 4, 2014 by Candace Plattor

Seriously, I don’t know how many more articles like this I can write about celebrities dying of addiction.

Along with everyone else who knew Philip Seymour Hoffman’s work, I mourn the loss of a gigantic talent. He was one of my favorite actors and I’ve seen most of his films. Of all the celebrity tributes I’ve heard about him in the past couple of days, the one that stands out for me is Rob Lowe’s—Lowe, a recovering addict/alcoholic himself, spoke of feeling angry about a number of things, not the least of which is that addiction is, in his words, “an equal opportunity killer.”

Many people talking about Hoffman today are using the term “speechless” to describe what they’re feeling. Although I can understand what they mean, I find that I am not speechless at all.

I have a lot to say.

What most people don’t understand about indulging in addiction is that it is a choice they are making. Please understand, I’m not saying that addicts deliberately decide to become addicts—I don’t think that’s the case at all. In fact, most people start engaging in addictive behaviors thinking it won’t get them—they’ll be able to handle it and not succumb to addiction. That was certainly true of me when I was using, a great many years ago. But when an addict knows there’s a problem, that’s where the choice point is: will they choose to remain in active addiction or will they choose to be in some form of active, ongoing recovery?

Philip Seymour Hoffman knew that he was an addict. I knew that about him too. Apparently he had many years clean and sober—a wonderful choice on his part. But he clearly allowed himself to have what some would call a “slip,” the acronym for Sobriety Loses Its Priority. A slip is a choice, a relapse is a choice. Continuing to use is a choice. Getting clean is also a choice, as witnessed by the millions of us all over the world who choose it, and continue to choose it one day at a time—often for the rest of our lives.

Yes, there is brain involvement with addiction. There is no question about that. Yes, we may have a genetic disposition to particular mind-altering substances. Although this has not yet been definitively proven scientifically, I believe it to be true. Yes, we may well learn our behavioral addictions in our homes growing up. I witness this daily with my clients and it was also true in my case. But ultimately, none of that really matters because, deep down, the decision to use is just that—a decision. Let’s start calling it what it is before more people have to die.

I don’t know enough about Hoffman’s personal life to know whether he had people around who were enabling him. Maybe, maybe not. If there were, I hope they will examine how they may have unwittingly contributed to this horrendous situation so they don’t do it to anyone else. What I do know for sure is that somewhere along the line, Hoffman himself made the decision to accumulate approximately 50 envelopes of heroin (apparently found in his home at his death), to load at least one syringe with some of it, and proceed to shoot it into his arm.

Done.

I am angry about that.

I am angry any time I hear of an addict dying of an overdose—or of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking, or of lung cancer due to smoking, because HELP IS OUT THERE! Try making a different choice!

I wonder how many more people, celebs and non-celebs alike, have to die because they truly don’t realize that they actually do have control over the choices they themselves make. I wish we could start talking about addiction that way, rather than telling addicts that they have a ‘brain disease,’ all too often leading them to believe they simply can’t help using their addiction. The truth is that they CAN help it. Anyone can stop using an addictive behavior (including enabling)—if they choose to commit to the inner work it takes to do so.

I’m sad beyond belief about Hoffman’s death—and Cory Monteith’s, and Michael Jackson’s, and Amy Winehouse’s and Whitney Houston’s—just to name a few. I’m sad about all the people I’ve known personally who are now dead because they decided to use their addiction of choice. Let’s now stop enabling addicts by telling them the truth—that addiction is a symptom of what emotionally lies underneath it. Let’s start teaching both addicts and those who enable them how to respect themselves—so they can stop sabotaging their lives and the lives of those they so dearly love.

Let’s raise the bar and start creating a more honest world. Maybe, just maybe, fewer addicts will have to die out there.

Photo credit: Reuters/Max Rossi

New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead

December 30, 2013 by Candace Plattor

In the immortal words of John Lennon, another year is over and a new one’s just begun.

Isn’t it interesting how we, as a society, agree that this is the time to give ourselves and our lives a complete and total new makeover? We have decided that at this time of the year we will revisit the year we’re leaving behind, dissecting it to see what worked for us and what didn’t. And on top of that, we need to make sure that we meet all of our “resolutions” quickly and perfectly or else we have failed – no pressure there!

While there is nothing wrong with re-assessing yourself from time to time and exploring changes you would like to make, the problems come when you allow yourself to over-identify with the “hype” of the season. It is one thing to make the overblown and often unrealistic New Year’s resolutions that you think you should make at this time of year, and quite a different process to take stock of where you are, in present time, to see what you might like to be doing differently so that you can live your best life.

RESOLUTION vs. INTENTION

My dictionary defines resolution as “the action of solving.” It stands to reason, therefore, that if we are looking at making resolutions, we will be focusing on problems in our lives that need to be solved. We will be looking at what we think is “wrong” with us and how to “fix” ourselves. Common examples of resolutions might be losing weight or going to the gym more often because we see ourselves as being too heavy. Whatever our resolutions are, the perception will be that something is wrong with us and we need to fix it.

An intention is different. My dictionary defines intention as “the determination to act in a certain way”. This has nothing to do with seeing yourself as a problem that needs to be resolved; instead, intentions are about becoming aware of different ways that you would prefer to be in your life. Some examples of an intention might be to become more patient with the people in your life, to treat others with more kindness, or to feel like you’re making a positive difference in the world.

In my experience, most New Year’s Resolutions stem from problems that people think they need to solve about themselves. Most commonly, these resolutions are often about decreasing “addictive behaviours” such as alcohol and/or drug use, over-eating (or under-eating), smoking, over-spending, gambling, spending too much time on the internet, or being in relationships that are not healthy

It is important to understand that addictive behaviours are generally used to avoid facing what is really going on in our lives. In order to avoid a variety of life tasks, or to avoid having to experience their true feelings, many people create destructive and self- sabotaging distractions for themselves. If you think this may be the case in your life, you might want to try doing something different this year.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT YOURSELF?

This year, instead of looking at something about yourself that you need to fix or improve, why not explore how you would prefer to feel about yourself? For example, if quitting smoking is something you would really like to do in the new year, focusing on the increased self-respect you will feel when you accomplish this may be more helpful than shaming yourself into it by telling yourself that you “should” quit or how weak you are for continuing to smoke.

In the same way, ask yourself how you feel about yourself when you consistently distract yourself by drinking too much, or by over-eating, over-spending or staying in a relationship that is emotionally or physically abusive for you. Would those inner feelings change if you were to begin taking better care of yourself? How can you best honour and respect yourself? What do you need to do (or not do) to feel that sense of inner peace and self-respect, and how can you translate that into an intention for self-caring change?

IT CAN HELP TO TALK IT OVER

Becoming aware of how you would like to feel about yourself and beginning to make your changes from that place will help you to be more realistic when deciding upon your intentions. This self-awareness will also give you more incentive to actually follow through on the steps you will need to take to reach your goals. You may well find that this kind of inner change brings your intentions to fruition more swiftly than trying to “fix” yourself from the outside in.

When you are on the threshold of inner changes, it can be useful to talk about your thoughts and feelings with a supportive friend, family member, colleague, or perhaps with a skilled professional who can help you make sense of what is going on inside of you. Remember to be gentle with yourself, as you are more likely to make your intended changes when you stop shaming and guilt-tripping yourself.

Cory Monteith’s Death: What Was He Thinking?

July 17, 2013 by Candace Plattor

I can’t tell you how odd I felt when I realized that I had passed by the very hotel Cory Monteith died in, just several hours before his overdose. For those of you who know Vancouver, I’d been at a tourist attraction at Canada Place with an out-of-town friend on Friday. On our way to lunch, we walked right by the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel a mere 24 hours before his body was discovered.

This is not a ‘claim to fame’ I would have knowingly chosen. I hate the fact that Cory Monteith is dead, and what I hate even worse is that he died, apparently accidentally, from a lethal combination of alcohol and heroin. As the TV commercials say—preventable.

Cory was not a favorite actor of mine and I didn’t watch Glee very often. For me, his death is not about mourning him as a cherished celebrity, as I know it is for his many fans. For me it is about one more person who has died as a result of alcohol and drug abuse. Even though I totally understand how this can happen, my heart breaks every time it does.

WHO WAS CORY, REALLY?

The people who knew Cory personally are all describing him as “creative” and “talented” and “nice”. The truth is that many addicts are all of these things—most of the addicts I know, myself included, are nice people—and many of us are also very bright and creative. Why, then, do we find ourselves addicted to mind-altering substances? And—why do wonderful people like Cory Monteith relapse to the point of killing themselves?

Of course I can never know this for sure, but I don’t think Cory meant to die. I think, or at least I hope, it was the tragic accident most people believe it to be. The irony is that he had just recently come out of another stay in treatment, the very place where addicts discover the underlying reasons that they sabotage their lives in the hopes of not having to repeat these behaviors.

So—what happened?

I am an addict. I’ve been in recovery for many years, without any relapses, one day at a time. What I know to be true is that staying clean and sober takes work—hard, daily, inner work. That work needs to be continuous because we have to stay on top of our addiction at all times or it can overtake us.

We’re learning that Cory had many problems growing up and attended a number of different schools before dropping out at the age of 16. We also know now that he began his substance misuse at about 12 years old. My question would be why there weren’t adults around to help him—do schools just kick out troubled kids without offering them the help they need? How could he have fallen through the cracks so badly?

And although as an Addictions Therapist I know very well that I cannot help anyone who is not ready to accept the help, I wonder if the staff of the treatment center Cory most recently entered saw any red flags—or was Cory, by this time in his checkered addiction career, able to snow them all by being that ‘nice guy’ and doing what he was told, at least on the surface?

HOW RELAPSE CAN HAPPEN

When people relapse, they often call it a ‘slip’. But I think the acronym for that word says it all: addicts slip when Sobriety Lose Its Priority. And I believe that’s what happened with Cory. For whatever reason (maybe to escape some still unresolved inner demons?), it was more important to him to get high than it was to stay clean and sober. That’s why he used that night.

I’m so sad he made that decision.

Another part of the relapse equation is the reality of tolerance. Addiction is truly a progressive condition. When recovering addicts haven’t abused substances for a while, their bodies get used to being clean machines. Most will say how terrific it feels to not be putting that poison into their systems when they’ve become abstinent, even for a short while. When an addict decides to use again, it is often with the same intensity that they used before. It doesn’t take long at all for their bodies to need more and more of the substance (or other addictive behavior) in order to provide the same high.

Some media reports say that Cory was leading a ‘double life’—that he was clean and sober while working in LA but would come to Vancouver to party. Of course I have no way of knowing the validity of this, but it’s very likely that Cory’s body may not have been used to the amount of alcohol and heroin that he fed himself that fateful night. And it’s even more likely that he was unaware of how this toxic combination could affect him.

FOR CORY’S LOVED ONES

As a therapist who works primarily with the loved ones of people struggling with addiction, my heart goes out to Cory’s family and close friends. There will undoubtedly be a sense of guilt and remorse—along with the tremendous sadness and grief they feel—wondering if they did enough for Cory, or why they didn’t realize the kind of potential jeopardy he was in. My hope for all of them is that they will get some support for themselves, either in a support group like Al-Anon/Nar-Anon or perhaps with a professional counselor who can help them with their pain over this tragic loss of someone they loved dearly.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction—and perhaps with chronic relapses—please allow yourself to get the help you need. Lasting recovery from addiction is possible.

I deeply hope that Cory’s tragic, unnecessary death will once again shine a light on the horrific problems that substance addiction causes. All over the world—certainly here in Canada—we need less budget cuts for social programs and more funding wisely spent on prevention and treatment.

Thank you for your contributions to the world, Cory.

May you now rest in peace.

Photo credit: blogs.etcanada.com