Recently, while working with a client (I’ll call her Jane) who is the loved one of an addict, she made a significant discovery. We were talking about the importance of Jane’s self-care, an important subject I frequently discuss with all of my clients. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I don’t feel like I know how to take care of myself—I don’t know what I want or how to ask for it.”“I don’t know how to set healthier boundaries because I don’t even know what those boundaries … [Read more...] about Holistic Self-Care When Loving an Addict
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If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door
A while ago, I was going through my newsfeed on Facebook, when I came across this proclamation: If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door. I thought it was one of the most brilliant pieces of wisdom I’d ever heard—so of course I immediately stole it and shared it on my own Facebook page too. And I’ve been using it—with clients, with friends, and with myself—ever since. How many times have we all tried to manipulate situations and relationships to make them work out the way we wanted? How often … [Read more...] about If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door
When You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going: Having the Courage to Stay the Course
What I Know TodayAfter over 25 years of working with clients struggling with addiction—and those who so dearly love them—not too much surprises me anymore. Not only have I survived many of my own difficult past experiences, I’ve also heard about—and witnessed—a great many traumatic stories from both addicts and their loved ones. I’m constantly awed by the resilience of the human spirit, especially when people have the intention to rise above the tremendous grief that could otherwise totally take … [Read more...] about When You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going: Having the Courage to Stay the Course
Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2
Continued from article posted February 24th. Click here to read Reasons 10 to 6.#5 – Others around you are watching what you’re doing.When we deal with an addict of any kind, there are always ripple effects that occur—positive or negative.Consider a scenario such as this: Your teen or adult child is actively using drugs or other addictive behaviours. If you are enabling this person and you have other children, they will be watching as you ‘favour’ the addict, even while the others are trying to … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2
Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1
We all know that addiction is rampant—it’s a horrific problem for far too many people, all over the world. And even though ‘addiction’ can take many forms, from mind-altering substances to mood-altering behaviours, one thing is for sure: Most everyone on the planet today is either affected by addiction—their own or somebody else’s—or they know someone who is.These days, I work primarily with the loved ones of addicts because that is where the changes need to happen first—or at the very least, in … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1
