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LoveWithBoundaries

Virtual Counselling in Addiction Recovery:
It Works!

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As we are all aware, the Holiday Season is coming fast upon us and, for many people, this time of year has shifted from a season of peace and joy to a period of misery and confusion. This year, unfortunately, addiction will be an unwanted guest for more families than you might imagine.

If you feel like you need someone to talk to who can guide you and your family through these often treacherous waters—but you’re also aware that accessing in-person counselling could be difficult for you—help is on the way!

Is Virtual Counselling the Best Option for You?

When most people think about getting counselling, they imagine going to see the therapist in person and having appointments in an office environment. However, there are many reasons why these kinds of in-person therapy sessions don’t work for everyone. For example, some people need to travel for work and are therefore often not home or available to meet in person. Others may live in small communities where seeking counselling might be problematic, either for privacy issues or because there may be no qualified therapists in the area. As well, some people may have health issues that keep them from being able to attend sessions in person, while others may live a long distance away from the professional they would ideally like to work with.

If you’ve been thinking about reaching out for help but have been putting it off because attending sessions in person would be challenging for you, you might want to consider telephone or Skype counselling as an alternative.

As an Addictions Therapist in private practice, I have been providing clients all over the world with telephone and Skype counselling for a number of years. These clients receive the same benefits as those I see in person. In fact, many people prefer the advantages of virtual support for a variety of reasons. [Read more…]

How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or Your Loved One Has an Addiction

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This post was originally published on December 12, 2014

AChristmas hollynother year has gone by and “The Holidays” are fast approaching—although if you’re anything like me, you’re still wondering where September went!

The time has come when we are once again seeing commercials on TV and in magazines about how wonderful the Christmas season is, that it is better to give than to receive, and how warm and loving families are, especially at this time of year.

But the reality is that, for many of people, this is not a time of peace and joy…

However, because there is so much shame associated with not having positive holiday times, most people don’t talk openly about how difficult this time of year can be for them. This can lead to intense feelings of loneliness and disappointment.

And when any form of addiction is thrown into the mix, this season of the year can be anything but jolly.

If you can relate to any of the following, then this article may be give you some helpful tips for getting through the holidays… [Read more…]

If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door

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A while ago, I was going through my newsfeed on Facebook, when I came across this proclamation:

If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

I thought it was one of the most brilliant pieces of wisdom I’d ever heard—so of course I immediately stole it and shared it on my own Facebook page too. And I’ve been using it—with clients, with friends, and with myself—ever since.

How many times have we all tried to manipulate situations and relationships to make them work out the way we wanted? How often have we tried to control people and things we just simply had no control over? Raise your hand if you’ve ever done this—once or maybe a hundred times over.

Sometimes if we try as hard as we can—when we are forceful enough or persistent enough—we can get the outcome we want. Or so we think… But how many of us have had the experience of getting that desired outcome, for a time, only to have it blow up in our face? Why does that happen? Because if it doesn’t open—or if it takes too much manipulation or scheming or controlling to keep it open, it’s truly not the door we’re supposed to walk through.

And at times like that, it’s best to cut our losses and focus on what is ours to do, instead of what isn’t. [Read more…]

Surviving the Holidays When Loving an Addict

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We all know that the Holiday Season is upon us. Depending on where we live, many of us began being pummelled with Christmas commercials on TV even before Halloween had come and gone. As we move into December, we are seeing the familiar media ads depicting gloriously happy families, all enjoying being together—opening gifts by the lavishly decorated tree and having sumptuous meals at their festive dinner table—smiles all around, nice and cozy. It all looks quite wonderful, doesn’t it?

frustrated womanBut the truth is that very few families are actually like that at holiday time these days. For those reading this, more and more of you are becoming very aware that Addiction is all too often an uninvited guest in our families—creating all sorts of problems and draining us of our emotional energy and good will.

That is actually becoming the norm in most families, all over the world—but the reason we don’t see this reality depicted in the holiday commercials is obvious: retailers want us to buy their products and addiction doesn’t ‘sell.’ That being said, the reason they show us these happy families over and over at this time of year may well be to assist us in knowing what we’re missing so we can feel badly about our lives. If people feel bad about themselves, they think, they’ll buy more and more of our goods just to distract themselves from their pain.

Here is the way I see it: we each have a choice about what we want to buy into. It’s totally up to you whether you want to go along with this somewhat nasty marketing scheme. Your other choice would be to face your reality head-on and make your decisions from that place. Your holiday season this year does not have to be a bad repeat of the one last year, with Addiction as an uninvited guest yet again—there are ways for you to avoid this from happening.

Please click here to find out what I’m doing to help you through the holiday season, and beyond, if you are the loved one of an addict.

Family Addiction: Are You Affected by Another Person’s Addictive Behaviours?

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Are you the loved one of someone struggling with an addiction?

Would you like to become part of the solution, instead of staying stuck in the problem?

These days, addictive behaviours are so rampant that it’s virtually impossible to imagine how many people are affected by them. Having worked as an Addictions Therapist for over 25 years—with both addicts and their loved ones—what I know today is that for every one addict, there are generally at least 10-20 people directly affected by that person’s addiction.

Think about it: there are parents and grandparents; partners and spouses; girlfriends and boyfriends; brothers and sisters; aunts, uncles and cousins; bosses and colleagues; teachers and fellow students; friends and neighbours; even doctors and therapists—just to name a few. [Read more…]