For many loved ones of people with addiction, the need to avoid conflict is at the core of their enabling behaviours. When we learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way, we can then be more authentic in our relationships. … [Read more...] about What is Really Behind the Need to Enable?
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Recovering from Codependency: The Truth About People-Pleasing
The term “codependency” can mean different things to different people. Over the years, a number of authors have offered a variety of definitions for this difficult dynamic that seems to affect more people than we can imagine. My definition is a very simple one: “codependency” occurs when we put other people’s needs ahead of our own on a fairly consistent basis. In truth, when we are codependent, we are also people-pleasers who will go to virtually any lengths to avoid unpleasant conflict with … [Read more...] about Recovering from Codependency: The Truth About People-Pleasing
The Healthiest Way to Relate Is from a Place of Authenticity
There are 3 basic ways to respond to life: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Although it may be tempting sometimes to respond passively (playing small) or aggressively (becoming angry or rageful), the healthiest way is to relate from a place of self-respect and authenticity — while you speak your own truth. … [Read more...] about The Healthiest Way to Relate Is from a Place of Authenticity
We Teach Others How to Treat Us
One of the constants of life is that we teach other people how to treat us. When we don’t speak our truth and stand up for ourselves, we make it easy for others to steamroll over us. If you’re finding this happening more often than you’d like in your life, it’s important to first look at what you’re allowing, before blaming anyone else. … [Read more...] about We Teach Others How to Treat Us
That Night at the Oscars: How Does Dysfunction Like This Even Happen?
Okay, okay, I know – we all saw the Oscars. And if we didn’t, we’ve certainly all heard about that slap heard around the world. People are still talking about it, several weeks later. There has been much said about what happened, from a ton of different angles – including Will Smith’s 10-year punishment. But not very much has been said about WHY it really happened. How did it get to this? What really made Will Smith do this, and why did he do it to Chris Rock? I believe there’s some really … [Read more...] about That Night at the Oscars: How Does Dysfunction Like This Even Happen?