Emotional maturity is what we develop when we take the time to know ourselves more deeply. When we aren’t self-aware in a problematic situation, many of us will reach for a drug or a drink – or some other kind of addictive behaviour. In my experience, I’ve found that it’s actually easier to do the inner work it takes to live with self-awareness and self-respect, rather than to stay stuck in addiction. Please reach out for help doing this, whenever you need it – although we each need to do our … [Read more...] about All Change Begins with Self-Awareness
Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones
How Do I Know When I’m Helping and Not Enabling?
Q: My son has suffered from alcohol abuse for 20 years, and he is getting worse. How do I know when to help versus enable him? That's a really good question because it's important to understand the difference between enabling and helping. When we enable an addict, we're doing something for them that they really can and should be doing for themselves and what we know today is that enabled addicts do not recover because they really have no incentive to do so. “Should” is not a word I use often, … [Read more...] about How Do I Know When I’m Helping and Not Enabling?
Navigating Addiction
During the Festive Season
As the year draws to a close and the holiday season rapidly approaches, it's easy to feel like time has slipped through our fingers. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were welcoming September?
Now, everywhere we turn, we're reminded of the joy and warmth that the holiday season is supposed to bring. Advertisements paint a picture of perfect families, generous giving, and festive cheer. But the reality is often far from this idealized image.
This year, like the last, and the one before, has been … [Read more...] about Navigating Addiction
During the Festive Season
Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
When we put the desires of the addict we love ahead of our own needs on a consistent basis, we are not actually helping the addict. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and develop their own resiliency and self-respect. If we continually rescue them from dealing with the realities of life, they will have absolutely no incentive to choose recovery from addiction. We need to love them enough to do what’s right for them – no more enabling! – even if that’s hard for us. … [Read more...] about Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
Who Are You Taking Care of First?
When we are in an airplane, we are told that if the oxygen masks come down, we need to put our own mask on first. How tempting it is sometimes to want to do just the opposite! But if we can’t breathe, we can’t help anyone else breathe. We need to take care of ourselves on an ongoing basis in order to be able to give to anyone else in healthy ways. … [Read more...] about Who Are You Taking Care of First?
