When we focus too much on the addict in our lives, we can lose ourselves in the process. Asking ourselves some deeper questions and answering them as honestly as possible can help us find ourselves again. … [Read more...] about Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones
My daughter has been addicted to alcohol since she was 15. My husband and I thought it was just a phase she would grow out of, but she is now 27 and her life is a total mess. We have tried to help her in every way we could think of, but nothing seems to be working. If we don’t continue to pay her rent (which is a financial hardship for us, after so many years), I’m worried she will be out on the street with nowhere to go. My husband thinks we should do this, but I just can’t bring myself to see … [Read more...] about Should We Pay Our Addicted Daughter’s Rent?
When we are taking good care of ourselves and others in our lives accuse us of being “selfish,” that could be because they want us to keep catering to their needs instead of our own. Be careful not to buy into that way of thinking. Self-Care and Selfishness are two very different things. … [Read more...] about Self-Care and Selfishness are NOT The Same Thing
My 32-year-old daughter keeps stealing from me. She takes money out of my purse and steals jewellery and electronics. She uses the money from this to support her drug habit, and I feel very sad about this. She’s been living with me for the last few months because she doesn’t have a job or money, and I don’t want to see her out on the street – so I don’t know what to do. Can you help me? A.M. Hi A.M., I’m really glad you sent your question to me. I’ll start by saying that we teach people how … [Read more...] about What Should I Do About My Daughter Stealing from Me?
The only way that an addict (or anyone else) in your life can continue to use and manipulate you is with your permission. Many loved ones of addicts are terrified of having to deal with conflict – so they say “Yes” when they really want to say “No.” But when they learn how to deal with conflict assertively and effectively with healthy boundaries and consequences that mean something to the addict, they will no longer put themselves in a position to be manipulated. … [Read more...] about An Addict’s Manipulations Will Stop When We No Longer Allow It to Happen