Anonymous asks: My sister has been an addict for over 10 years – how do I know when it’s time to slam the door and say “I’m done!” Hi Anonymous, The truth is that only you will know when that time has come. When we’ve been putting up with the bad behaviours associated with active addiction, there is an ending point for many people. That being said, it’s also possible that if you try some different responses with your sister, you might find that she responds differently to you too. For … [Read more...] about How do I know when it’s time to say “I’m done!” with an addict?
Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones
From Nancy A.: I want to set boundaries with my addicted son, but I know he’s going to get angry at me if I do. I feel scared because that has not gone well in the past. How do I stop saying “yes” all the time and set boundaries with him anyway? Hi Nancy – you are asking one of the best and most common questions ever! So many loved ones of addicts are scared to set boundaries for this very reason. Please know that you’re not alone in this. When we know that someone can be abusive or … [Read more...] about How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
Simon asks: My brother has a habit of showing up at my front door in the middle of the night drunk and stoned. He keeps waking me out of a sound sleep when he pounds on the door and rings my doorbell. Sometimes he yells loud enough that he wakes up the neighbours and I have gotten complaints. I’m super frustrated but I don’t want to call the police on him. How can I stop him from doing this? Thanks for your question, Simon. The only way to really stop him is to set appropriate boundaries and … [Read more...] about My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned
Mike T asks: My girlfriend is a heroin addict. It’s really affecting our relationship but I don’t want to leave her. I love her a lot and she needs me. Hi Mike, When someone is an addict, especially with mind-altering substances like heroin, they simply will not be able to be emotionally present with you. Your girlfriend’s addiction is going to take priority for her. This is why your relationship is being affected like that. Loving someone sometimes means doing things that are difficult. When … [Read more...] about My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship
People-pleasers tend to care more about what others think of them than about how they truly feel about themselves. Shifting out of this dysfunctional pattern requires being patient and gentle with ourselves, as we learn to treat ourselves with more care and self-respect. … [Read more...] about Are You a People-Pleaser?