Janet A. asks: Our 37-year-old son began smoking pot in his teens but is now using dangerous drugs like fentanyl on a daily basis. My husband and I have been trying to get him to stop, probably enabling him, but we’re not on the same page in the ways we think we should help him, and nothing is working. His brother and sisters are very worried too. Help? Hi Janet, I’m so glad you wrote to me about this. You’ve mentioned some really important things in your short question – thank you for … [Read more...] about Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
Helping vs. Enabling
Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?
I love the saying “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” because until we can allow ourselves to feel the discomfort of healthy change, we will continue to choose to keep ourselves stuck. The reason we people-please is to try to keep discomfort at bay. But when we can instead learn how to handle difficult emotions and begin to learn how to use them in positive ways – learning their lessons – we can then become much more authentic and life becomes much easier. … [Read more...] about Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?
Online Gambling
Our 34-year-old son likes to buy things and gamble online. He is very lonely and doesn’t have much else going on in his life, and we feel sorry for him. The problem is that he isn’t working so he doesn’t have his own money. We’ve been letting him live with us without paying rent because he can’t afford his own place. Sometimes we give him money to gamble and buy his useless stuff with, but sometimes when we say no he takes our credit cards and secretly uses them. Some months we have found … [Read more...] about Online Gambling
Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
When we focus too much on the addict in our lives, we can lose ourselves in the process. Asking ourselves some deeper questions and answering them as honestly as possible can help us find ourselves again. … [Read more...] about Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
Should We Pay Our Addicted Daughter’s Rent?
My daughter has been addicted to alcohol since she was 15. My husband and I thought it was just a phase she would grow out of, but she is now 27 and her life is a total mess. We have tried to help her in every way we could think of, but nothing seems to be working. If we don’t continue to pay her rent (which is a financial hardship for us, after so many years), I’m worried she will be out on the street with nowhere to go. My husband thinks we should do this, but I just can’t bring myself to see … [Read more...] about Should We Pay Our Addicted Daughter’s Rent?