There are many schools of thought about addiction and what it really is. Some people consider it to be a physical disease, while others credit genetic predisposition while also addressing the nature/nurture paradigm. Even if some or all ring true for each of us, what I know to be true—as an addict in recovery for nearly 33 years, as a loved one of addicts, and as a professional addiction therapist for three decades—is that underneath all of this, staying in active addiction is a choice. And … [Read more...] about A New Way to Understand Addiction
Addiction in the family
Loving Someone with an Addiction: A Life of Chaos
Whether your addicted loved one is a parent, a child, a partner, friend, or colleague, loving someone who is actively engaging in addictive behaviours is one of the most difficult ways to live. This is because addicts who continue to be involved with their own self-destructive patterns typically experience many emotional highs and lows, creating a virtual roller coaster of fantasy followed by severe despondency, remorse, and self-loathing, with every conceivable emotion in between. Addicts … [Read more...] about Loving Someone with an Addiction: A Life of Chaos
“Should I Stay or Should I Go?” The Dilemma of Addiction
In the early 1980s, a musical group called The Clash released a song whose title went on to become almost an anthem for many people in a variety of situations. The song was called “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and it truly sums up the multitude of dilemmas that people experience in life. Today we will be looking at how this simple question presents itself when focusing on addiction – both for the addicts and for their loved ones. Is Addiction Actually a Disease? As many of you know, I … [Read more...] about “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” The Dilemma of Addiction
The Secret to Stopping Addiction in Your Family—Forever
Early on in my work with addictive behaviours, I noticed that most addicts struggle with addiction their whole lives, while a smaller group seemed to be able to completely recover. At that time, I was about three years clean and sober—and I was intrigued because I wanted to be part of the group that stayed in recovery. So I dedicated my life’s work to figuring out what made the difference between the few that decided to remain in recovery while the rest chose to relapse time and again. … [Read more...] about The Secret to Stopping Addiction in Your Family—Forever
From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
Ah, Valentine's Day, the fantasy-filled holiday that comes right after we've managed to get ourselves through another year of Christmas and New Year's Eve! Have you ever wondered whose bright idea it was to have those three holidays in a row? For many people, the 3-month period of December through February can be the most difficult and depressing time of the year, and this is especially true for those whose significant relationships are problematic. For people with addictive behaviours, as … [Read more...] about From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
