Too often, we are taught that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own. “What will the neighbours say?” is a refrain I heard often in my childhood. But now I know better. Today I understand that how I feel about myself – my own self-respect – is the most important thing that I either have or don’t have. Self-respect is no longer negotiable in my life – I will not be giving it up again. … [Read more...] about Which Matters More to You?
Healthy self-care
What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
When we role model self-care and self-respect, rebuilding our own lives instead of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own, the addict in our lives sits up and takes notice. As you begin to experience more joy and satisfaction in your life, different choice by different choice, you open the possibility for your addicted loved one to choose to do the same thing in their life. Is there a better example of a win-win than that? … [Read more...] about What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
Are you able to put your own needs first?
There’s nothing wrong with doing something for someone we care about, as long as what we’re doing isn’t enabling that person to stay stuck in addiction. When we do that, our self-respect takes a hit, and we feel this inside. It’s important to ask ourselves this question: Am I trying to ‘rescue’ someone so that I can feel better, or am I wanting to help them feel their own resiliency as they learn how to do things for themselves? … [Read more...] about Are you able to put your own needs first?
The Changing Face of Self-Care
For those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, practicing holistic self-care and putting our own needs first was fleeting at best. That’s because, as children, so much of our time had to be spent on staying “safe” – and this often meant that we had to focus on making others feel good. As adults, we can shift that today. When we become aware of needing to caretake someone else, we can change direction and begin to focus on ourselves so that WE can feel good. … [Read more...] about The Changing Face of Self-Care
Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
When we focus too much on the addict in our lives, we can lose ourselves in the process. Asking ourselves some deeper questions and answering them as honestly as possible can help us find ourselves again. … [Read more...] about Ask Yourself Some Important Questions