Because we live on a planet of free will, each of us gets to make our own decisions. When we stop trying to change what we simply cannot change – especially other people – we can begin to live a much less stressful life. … [Read more...] about You Can’t Control Another Person, So Stop Trying!
Addiction in the family
The Name of the Game: How to Revive Your Ailing Self-Respect
Most of us are aware that we want to be treated with respect by other people. You probably find yourself becoming upset, angry or hurt when someone acts in a disrespectful way toward you, because it feels as if that person does not value you enough to treat you well. Self-Respect: What Exactly Is It? Self-respect works in the same way as being respected by others. When you value yourself enough to treat yourself well, you are acting in a self-respecting way. If you take good care of yourself … [Read more...] about The Name of the Game: How to Revive Your Ailing Self-Respect
Yet Another Addiction Strategy from the BC Government: Is This the Best You’ve Got?
I am a proud Canadian and an even prouder Vancouverite. But when I heard that our government was going to “help” drug addicts by making possession of a small amount of opiates and other street drugs legal – ostensibly so that addicts would use together instead of in isolation and somehow, someway, protect each other from overdosing – I felt absolutely enraged. My immediate question for them was “Is this the best you’ve got?” THIS is their solution to the toxic drug overdose epidemic we’ve been … [Read more...] about Yet Another Addiction Strategy from the BC Government: Is This the Best You’ve Got?
What is Really Behind the Need to Enable?
For many loved ones of people with addiction, the need to avoid conflict is at the core of their enabling behaviours. When we learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way, we can then be more authentic in our relationships. … [Read more...] about What is Really Behind the Need to Enable?
Recovering from Codependency: The Truth About People-Pleasing
The term “codependency” can mean different things to different people. Over the years, a number of authors have offered a variety of definitions for this difficult dynamic that seems to affect more people than we can imagine. My definition is a very simple one: “codependency” occurs when we put other people’s needs ahead of our own on a fairly consistent basis. In truth, when we are codependent, we are also people-pleasers who will go to virtually any lengths to avoid unpleasant conflict with … [Read more...] about Recovering from Codependency: The Truth About People-Pleasing
