From YJ: My oldest son has just gotten his 2nd DUI and has been given a hefty fine. His car has also been impounded for 3 months. My husband, who is his major enabler, is ‘loaning’ him the money to pay the fine (even though we will probably never get it back) and has begun to drive him wherever he wants to go. I can’t believe this is happening! My husband and I are fighting about it constantly and I’m afraid we might end up in divorce court. Your book has been really great in helping me open my … [Read more...] about My husband and I are fighting about him enabling our son
Addiction in the family
Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
The way I see it, there are two kinds of pain. There is the pain that goes on and on and on - and there is the pain that hurts, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When we love an addict and want them to change, we find that we need to change first, in order for that to happen. Changing oneself is often not an easy process in the short run - but in the long run, it’s so worth it! Difficult family dynamics transform and the addicts we love often also make the choice to make the very … [Read more...] about Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
Top 10 Survival Tips For Loving an Addicted Person
1. Come face-to-face with reality. Learning how to deal with reality is the most important first step in “surviving” when you love an addicted person. Although it may seem easier to stay in the “fantasy space” where you can continue to believe that things are going to magically get better, there is no such magic. Things will not get better just because you wish they would. Coming face-to-face with reality means accepting that parts of your life may be out of control as a result of loving … [Read more...] about Top 10 Survival Tips For Loving an Addicted Person
How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
Penny C. asks: How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely? He doesn’t seem to want to do that. Hi Penny, The way it works is that if loved ones want to see changes in the addicts they love, they will need to make some changes within themselves first. (This is a process, and you may need to seek out some help with it.) So what you can say to him is “I don’t want to live with someone who drinks anymore. I would like our relationship to continue, and I’m hoping you’re … [Read more...] about How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
Are You a People-Pleaser?
People-pleasers tend to care more about what others think of them than about how they truly feel about themselves. Shifting out of this dysfunctional pattern requires being patient and gentle with ourselves, as we learn to treat ourselves with more care and self-respect. … [Read more...] about Are You a People-Pleaser?
