Penny C. asks: How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely? He doesn’t seem to want to do that.
The way it works is that if loved ones want to see changes in the addicts they love, they will need to make some changes within themselves first. (This is a process, and you may need to seek out some help with it.) So what you can say to him is “I don’t want to live with someone who drinks anymore. I would like our relationship to continue, and I’m hoping you’re ready to stop. I will no longer be supporting you, in any way, if you choose to stay in active addiction – but I will support you in the best ways I can when you choose to stop drinking and go into recovery.”
You’re saying that he doesn’t seem to want to stop. Please remember that we teach other people how to treat us. If he thinks you’re going to put up with his drinking, then what incentive would he have to want to stop a behaviour that he feels helps him get through life?
All my best,
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