Penny C. asks: How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely? He doesn’t seem to want to do that. Hi Penny, The way it works is that if loved ones want to see changes in the addicts they love, they will need to make some changes within themselves first. (This is a process, and you may need to seek out some help with it.) So what you can say to him is “I don’t want to live with someone who drinks anymore. I would like our relationship to continue, and I’m hoping you’re … [Read more...] about How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
Addiction and Codependency
How do I know if my daughter is using?
JN asks: How do I know if my daughter is using? I think she is but she tells me she’s not. She lives with me so we go through this with each other fairly often. Thanks for your question, JN. It will depend on whether she's using mind-altering substances or mood-altering behaviours (like gambling, shopping, etc.). And sometimes it’s harder to tell with drugs than with alcohol, because there is little or no smell with most of them. But if you’ve been in this situation for a while with your … [Read more...] about How do I know if my daughter is using?
The Worst Kind of Powerlessness
It’s so hard for loved ones of people struggling with addiction to understand that until the addicts themselves are willing to shift and change, nothing much will change. When addicts are enabled and feel too comfortable in their addiction, the chances of them doing anything differently are slim to none. That’s why boundaries and consequences are important - so that we can help the addicts we love become less and less comfortable staying in active addiction. … [Read more...] about The Worst Kind of Powerlessness
If my daughter leaves rehab, what do I do?
M.T. asks: My daughter is in rehab but is saying she might not stay. I’ve been paying her rent for a while and I’m continuing to do that while she’s there. If she leaves, what do I do? Hi M.T., The main message here is that you will no longer support her addiction but you will support her recovery. If she leaves treatment against the advice of the staff there, then out of a place of love for her, you can tell her you will no longer be paying her rent. If you enable her in any way, … [Read more...] about If my daughter leaves rehab, what do I do?
The Serenity Prayer: How it Can Help Your Recovery from Addiction
God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. These days, a lot of people have heard of the Serenity Prayer. Anyone who has gone to 12-Step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous or Al-Anon knows this prayer as the group recitation at the end of these meetings. But although you may have heard this prayer a number of times, and perhaps recited it yourself many times, have … [Read more...] about The Serenity Prayer: How it Can Help Your Recovery from Addiction
