Charlotte asks: My husband is coming home late from work almost every night now. His excuse is that there are a lot of projects his firm is working on, and that they go out to dinner together afterwards. But when he comes home, he seems different and I’m wondering if he might be using drugs? I don’t smell alcohol but he always seems so tired, just wanting to fall into bed and go to sleep before we have a chance to have any conversation. This is happening a lot now and I’m feeling very lonely in … [Read more...] about I’m wondering if my husband might be using drugs
Addiction and Codependency
My husband and I are fighting about him enabling our son
From YJ: My oldest son has just gotten his 2nd DUI and has been given a hefty fine. His car has also been impounded for 3 months. My husband, who is his major enabler, is ‘loaning’ him the money to pay the fine (even though we will probably never get it back) and has begun to drive him wherever he wants to go. I can’t believe this is happening! My husband and I are fighting about it constantly and I’m afraid we might end up in divorce court. Your book has been really great in helping me open my … [Read more...] about My husband and I are fighting about him enabling our son
Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
The way I see it, there are two kinds of pain. There is the pain that goes on and on and on - and there is the pain that hurts, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When we love an addict and want them to change, we find that we need to change first, in order for that to happen. Changing oneself is often not an easy process in the short run - but in the long run, it’s so worth it! Difficult family dynamics transform and the addicts we love often also make the choice to make the very … [Read more...] about Yes, Change Can Be Hard – But It’s Worth It!
Top 10 Survival Tips For Loving an Addicted Person
1. Come face-to-face with reality. Learning how to deal with reality is the most important first step in “surviving” when you love an addicted person. Although it may seem easier to stay in the “fantasy space” where you can continue to believe that things are going to magically get better, there is no such magic. Things will not get better just because you wish they would. Coming face-to-face with reality means accepting that parts of your life may be out of control as a result of loving … [Read more...] about Top 10 Survival Tips For Loving an Addicted Person
My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship
Mike T asks: My girlfriend is a heroin addict. It’s really affecting our relationship but I don’t want to leave her. I love her a lot and she needs me. Hi Mike, When someone is an addict, especially with mind-altering substances like heroin, they simply will not be able to be emotionally present with you. Your girlfriend’s addiction is going to take priority for her. This is why your relationship is being affected like that. Loving someone sometimes means doing things that are difficult. When … [Read more...] about My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship
