Mike T asks: My girlfriend is a heroin addict. It’s really affecting our relationship but I don’t want to leave her. I love her a lot and she needs me.
Hi Mike,
When someone is an addict, especially with mind-altering substances like heroin, they simply will not be able to be emotionally present with you. Your girlfriend’s addiction is going to take priority for her. This is why your relationship is being affected like that.
Loving someone sometimes means doing things that are difficult. When you say she needs you, consider this: she needs you to do what’s right for her – even when it’s hard for you. She needs you to tell her the truth and to set some healthy boundaries, all from a place of love, so that you’re not enabling her and are instead actually helping her to have a chance at recovery. When we enable addicts, we basically are contributing to their CHOICE to say in addiction. What we know to be true is that an enabled addict will not recover – because why should they?
All my best,
Candace
