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Candace Plattor, M.A.Registered Clinical Counsellor
Candace Plattor, M.A.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

August 8, 2022 by Candace Plattor

My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship

addiction recovery

Mike T asks: My girlfriend is a heroin addict. It’s really affecting our relationship but I don’t want to leave her. I love her a lot and she needs me.

Hi Mike,

When someone is an addict, especially with mind-altering substances like heroin, they simply will not be able to be emotionally present with you. Your girlfriend’s addiction is going to take priority for her. This is why your relationship is being affected like that.

Loving someone sometimes means doing things that are difficult. When you say she needs you, consider this: she needs you to do what’s right for her – even when it’s hard for you. She needs you to tell her the truth and to set some healthy boundaries, all from a place of love, so that you’re not enabling her and are instead actually helping her to have a chance at recovery. When we enable addicts, we basically are contributing to their CHOICE to say in addiction. What we know to be true is that an enabled addict will not recover – because why should they?

All my best,
Candace

Have a question for Candace? Please go here.

Filed Under: Ask Candace Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction recovery, Helping vs. Enabling, Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones

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