A while ago, I was going through my newsfeed on Facebook, when I came across this proclamation: If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door. I thought it was one of the most brilliant pieces of wisdom I’d ever heard—so of course I immediately stole it and shared it on my own Facebook page too. And I’ve been using it—with clients, with friends, and with myself—ever since. How many times have we all tried to manipulate situations and relationships to make them work out the way we wanted? How often … [Read more...] about If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door
Helping vs. Enabling
Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2
Continued from article posted February 24th. Click here to read Reasons 10 to 6.#5 – Others around you are watching what you’re doing.When we deal with an addict of any kind, there are always ripple effects that occur—positive or negative.Consider a scenario such as this: Your teen or adult child is actively using drugs or other addictive behaviours. If you are enabling this person and you have other children, they will be watching as you ‘favour’ the addict, even while the others are trying to … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2
Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1
We all know that addiction is rampant—it’s a horrific problem for far too many people, all over the world. And even though ‘addiction’ can take many forms, from mind-altering substances to mood-altering behaviours, one thing is for sure: Most everyone on the planet today is either affected by addiction—their own or somebody else’s—or they know someone who is.These days, I work primarily with the loved ones of addicts because that is where the changes need to happen first—or at the very least, in … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1
Surviving the Holidays When Loving an Addict
We all know that the Holiday Season is upon us. Depending on where we live, many of us began being pummelled with Christmas commercials on TV even before Halloween had come and gone. As we move into December, we are seeing the familiar media ads depicting gloriously happy families, all enjoying being together—opening gifts by the lavishly decorated tree and having sumptuous meals at their festive dinner table—smiles all around, nice and cozy. It all looks quite wonderful, doesn’t it?But the … [Read more...] about Surviving the Holidays When Loving an Addict
Sometimes Love Looks Like “No”: When to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries
This article was originally posted on October 2, 2013. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who is in active addiction? What needs to happen for that to occur?If you are in that situation, you have probably wondered about this many times.THE QUESTION OF THE DAYSeveral weeks ago I was interviewed on Talk Recovery radio, a new program on Vancouver’s Co-Op Radio station, dealing with addiction and recovery issues. I was honored to be chosen as their very first guest, and I had … [Read more...] about Sometimes Love Looks Like “No”: When to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries
