As loved ones, when we stay in denial or decide to not speak our truth in order to avoid conflict, we are basically arguing for our addict’s limitations. Sometimes, when addicts hear someone tell them the truth about how their addiction is affecting other people, they make the choice to relapse – perhaps to show others how emotionally fragile they are. But this coping mechanism is usually a manipulation, designed to teach their loved ones not to bother them – so that they can make the choice to … [Read more...] about Setting Boundaries with Your Addicted Loved One
Addiction
Recovery from Codependency: Self-Awareness Is the Key
Here we all are, drawing closer to leaving 2021 behind and beginning a new year. These past 12 months have been momentous in so many ways – and I know that you don’t need me to go into much detail about that. For some of us, this year that’s ending has included much loss and grieving – of people we loved, of businesses and jobs that evaporated because of Covid-19 and other factors. For other people, there were opportunities for growth and well-being – with all kinds of shades of grey in between … [Read more...] about Recovery from Codependency: Self-Awareness Is the Key
Allowing the Addict You Love to Be Uncomfortable in Their Addiction
When an addict becomes “comfortable” remaining in active addiction, they will have no real incentive to do anything different. When we take care of their needs – financial, physical, and emotional – so that they are not required to do much, if anything, for themselves, then we also take away their chance at a real and lasting recovery. … [Read more...] about Allowing the Addict You Love to Be Uncomfortable in Their Addiction
Covid, Addiction – and You: You’re Not Alone
Just like most of us these days, I’ve been getting email after email – from all the lists I’ve ever been a part of and from many I never signed up for – all about the coronavirus – complete with reminders to wash our hands and maintain social distancing. This article will not tell you to wash your hands – because you already know that. It will not tell you to self-isolate or to stay 6’ from each other – because you know that too. What I do want to talk about today is what it’s like to have an … [Read more...] about Covid, Addiction – and You: You’re Not Alone
Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
Has anyone else noticed how early the Christmas chaos began this year? I recall a few years ago here in Vancouver, a number of people became so disgruntled by the early onset of Christmas music in some of the stores—in the middle of October—that they took to Facebook en masse and complained. One store in particular, Shoppers Drug Mart, appeased the naysayers by stopping that music, but only after they drew their line in the sand, assuring us that the carols would resume again at the end of … [Read more...] about Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
