Another year has gone by and “The Holidays” are fast approaching – although if you’re anything like me, you’re still wondering where September went! The time has come when we are once again seeing commercials on TV and in magazines about how wonderful the Christmas season is, that it is better to give than to receive, and how warm and loving families are, especially at this time of year. But the reality is that, for many people, this is not a time of peace and joy . . . And that is especially … [Read more...] about Addiction and the Holidays: Doing It Differently This Year
Addiction in the family
Let’s Give Addicts Their Power Back!
In my opinion, our society has become the worst ‘addict’ walking our streets. Its drug of choice? An old, outdated way of thinking that’s actually keeping our world stuck in the horrors of addiction. We’ve been taught to believe that addicts are powerless. Twelve-step programs have, for decades, been our country’s go-to solution for addiction in all of its forms. These programs teach us to implement Steps that are based on the notion that there’s a disease to blame, and that the only solution … [Read more...] about Let’s Give Addicts Their Power Back!
Holding the Addict in Your Life Accountable
When we don’t hold an addict accountable for their unhealthy behaviours, we prepare them for a world that doesn’t exist. They begin to believe that they can act in whatever ways they choose and get away with that. It can be a huge shock when they are held accountable by the societal systems that are in place – for example, being fired, arrested or incarcerated. We can actually love the addicts in our lives by setting – and maintaining – appropriate, respectful boundaries, so they can see that … [Read more...] about Holding the Addict in Your Life Accountable
Am I Helping or Enabling? The Wisdom to Know the Difference
For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I love the Serenity Prayer. I’m not a fan of the way it’s recited at the end of every 12-Step meeting, in a quick, sing-song kind of way. In fact, even as I said it that way with everybody else for the first 10 years of my own recovery from many addictive behaviours, I began to feel curious about this Prayer and what it really meant. As I dug deeper, I discovered it to be one of the simplest, most profound pieces of writing I … [Read more...] about Am I Helping or Enabling? The Wisdom to Know the Difference
Dealing with Conflict When You Love an Addict
If you love an addict who is in active addiction, you are likely experiencing passivity and aggression from them – usually in a back-and-forth manner. They can go from hiding out quietly in their rooms to loudly demanding what they want in an entitled way – and they can make that shift very quickly. If you are codependent with them, giving in so that you can avoid conflict, you may never know when the next shoe will drop – when the next aggressive, entitled demand may come your way. But once … [Read more...] about Dealing with Conflict When You Love an Addict
