For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I love the Serenity Prayer. I’m not a fan of the way it’s recited at the end of every 12-Step meeting, in a quick, sing-song kind of way. In fact, even as I said it that way with everybody else for the first 10 years of my own recovery from many addictive behaviours, I began to feel curious about this Prayer and what it really meant. As I dug deeper, I discovered it to be one of the simplest, most profound pieces of writing I … [Read more...] about Am I Helping or Enabling? The Wisdom to Know the Difference
Addiction recovery
Setting Boundaries with an Addict:
“I Just Don’t Have the Heart.”
I was recently talking with the parent of an addict who is still in active addiction and didn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. This father was concerned about his daughter, who was in her mid-twenties and had been using drugs for a number of years. Some of the many mind-altering substances his child was abusing, at various times, included alcohol, weed, cocaine, meth, heroin and other opioids she was buying on the street.
Lisa (names have been changed) was still living at home, with her … [Read more...] about Setting Boundaries with an Addict:
“I Just Don’t Have the Heart.”
New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead!
In the immortal words of John Lennon, another year is over and a new one’s just begun. Isn’t it interesting how we, as a society, agree that this is the time to give ourselves and our lives a complete and total new makeover? We have decided that at this time of the year we will revisit the year we’re leaving behind, dissecting it to see what worked for us and what didn’t. And on top of that, we need to make sure that we meet all of our “resolutions” quickly and perfectly or else we have … [Read more...] about New Year’s Resolutions? Try Intentions Instead!
Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
Has anyone else noticed how early the Christmas chaos began this year? I recall a few years ago here in Vancouver, a number of people became so disgruntled by the early onset of Christmas music in some of the stores—in the middle of October—that they took to Facebook en masse and complained. One store in particular, Shoppers Drug Mart, appeased the naysayers by stopping that music, but only after they drew their line in the sand, assuring us that the carols would resume again at the end of … [Read more...] about Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
A New Way to Understand Addiction
There are many schools of thought about addiction and what it really is. Some people consider it to be a physical disease, while others credit genetic predisposition while also addressing the nature/nurture paradigm. Even if some or all ring true for each of us, what I know to be true—as an addict in recovery for nearly 33 years, as a loved one of addicts, and as a professional addiction therapist for three decades—is that underneath all of this, staying in active addiction is a choice. And … [Read more...] about A New Way to Understand Addiction
