D.H. Asks: My son has been using drugs, as well as stealing and lying to us, for a lot of years now. We’ve tried to help him in every way we can because we don’t want to see him on the street or in jail, but we are feeling really tired of all of it now. How do we make him go to rehab and change his life? Hi D.H., Unfortunately, there is no way to “make” another person do anything, no matter how hard we may try. That’s because: (a) We are powerless over other people and (b) We live on a … [Read more...] about How Can I Make My Son Go to Rehab?
Addiction in the family
Boundaries on family trips
M.W. Asks: What boundaries do you suggest for family trips? I've thought about reserving my own lodging, but that can be expensive. However, staying in the same hotel room with my spouse (an active addict) takes an emotional toll and discolors my ability to enjoy my stay. So other than reserving my own room, what boundaries could I set? Thank you. Thanks for reaching out with your question. I will first ask whether you’ve thought about the possibility of not going on this particular family … [Read more...] about Boundaries on family trips
My brother needs ongoing help for past trauma
Hi Candace, I have just returned from a crisis situation that happened while on vacation in Thailand. What was supposed to be a 2.5-week focus on my physical/mental health turned into discovering my brother who lives there, was so far gone with alcohol. A 26er a day of vodka, disgusting living conditions and had many people enabling him with $$ and a very toxic Thai girlfriend. I was able to get him 3 days after I arrived on Koh Samui to a facility I could afford. It was the longest day of my … [Read more...] about My brother needs ongoing help for past trauma
My adult son wants money for his account in jail
BD Asks: I have an adult son who is an alcohol/drug addict. He has been in and out of treatments and jail multiple times. He is in jail right now and wants me to put money on his account so he can get extra food and make phone calls. I am torn as to what I should do, I don’t want to enable him anymore as I know I have been. But I also know when he is not using he eats like he is starving… I don’t know what to do? --- Hello, thank you for submitting your question to “Ask Candace”. I’m very … [Read more...] about My adult son wants money for his account in jail
If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
Expecting the addict in your life to change if you’re not willing to do the same is not only unfair - but it also won’t work well. Although your addict is responsible for his or her own choices and behaviours, as the loved one you bear some responsibility for any ways that you have contributed to these dysfunctional patterns - and you must be willing to change those first, before the addict you love so dearly will be willing to change what they have been doing. … [Read more...] about If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
