T.C. Asks: How do you stay firm in your decision to want out of a relationship with an addict who has an it’s-only-on-weekends-I-can-control-it attitude? I have been doing this for 27 years and I don't know how to make this individual understand a weekend is not only a weekend, it’s sending them back into addiction. I have grown tired, and because this individual works every day and doesn't spend money on their habits, I am supposed to ignore the concerns for their health, etc. Hi … [Read more...] about How do I stay firm in my decision with an addict?
Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones
A sibling who relapses after rehab
Annie G asks: My sister has been having trouble with alcohol for about 4 years now. We‘ve sent her to rehab twice but she relapsed both times. My parents have been keeping her afloat financially for many years – which I don’t understand because she works full time and has enough money to buy her alcohol. That really makes me mad! About 3 months ago, she married a guy she barely knew when they went to Vegas together and even though he knows she’s a problem drinker (at the very least), he … [Read more...] about A sibling who relapses after rehab
How do I know when it’s time to say “I’m done!” with an addict?
Anonymous asks: My sister has been an addict for over 10 years – how do I know when it’s time to slam the door and say “I’m done!” Hi Anonymous, The truth is that only you will know when that time has come. When we’ve been putting up with the bad behaviours associated with active addiction, there is an ending point for many people. That being said, it’s also possible that if you try some different responses with your sister, you might find that she responds differently to you too. For … [Read more...] about How do I know when it’s time to say “I’m done!” with an addict?
How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
From Nancy A.: I want to set boundaries with my addicted son, but I know he’s going to get angry at me if I do. I feel scared because that has not gone well in the past. How do I stop saying “yes” all the time and set boundaries with him anyway? Hi Nancy – you are asking one of the best and most common questions ever! So many loved ones of addicts are scared to set boundaries for this very reason. Please know that you’re not alone in this. When we know that someone can be abusive or … [Read more...] about How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned
Simon asks: My brother has a habit of showing up at my front door in the middle of the night drunk and stoned. He keeps waking me out of a sound sleep when he pounds on the door and rings my doorbell. Sometimes he yells loud enough that he wakes up the neighbours and I have gotten complaints. I’m super frustrated but I don’t want to call the police on him. How can I stop him from doing this? Thanks for your question, Simon. The only way to really stop him is to set appropriate boundaries and … [Read more...] about My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned
