P.A. asks: How do I know if my husband is addicted? What signs should I be looking for? Hi P.A., This is something that most loved ones of addicts wonder about. They have some suspicions, but aren’t sure exactly what to look for. And because most family members don’t want to think that a person they love is having a problem with addiction, they often minimize the signs they’re seeing and doubt themselves instead. The decision to do this generally keeps the problem going for a lot … [Read more...] about How do I know if my husband is addicted?
loving an addict
People-pleasers tend to care more about what others think of them than about how they truly feel about themselves. Shifting out of this dysfunctional pattern requires being patient and gentle with ourselves, as we learn to treat ourselves with more care and self-respect. … [Read more...] about Are You a People-Pleaser?
JN asks: How do I know if my daughter is using? I think she is but she tells me she’s not. She lives with me so we go through this with each other fairly often. Thanks for your question, JN. It will depend on whether she's using mind-altering substances or mood-altering behaviours (like gambling, shopping, etc.). And sometimes it’s harder to tell with drugs than with alcohol, because there is little or no smell with most of them. But if you’ve been in this situation for a while with your … [Read more...] about How do I know if my daughter is using?
It’s so hard for loved ones of people struggling with addiction to understand that until the addicts themselves are willing to shift and change, nothing much will change. When addicts are enabled and feel too comfortable in their addiction, the chances of them doing anything differently are slim to none. That’s why boundaries and consequences are important - so that we can help the addicts we love become less and less comfortable staying in active addiction. … [Read more...] about The Worst Kind of Powerlessness
There are 3 basic ways to respond to life: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Although it may be tempting sometimes to respond passively (playing small) or aggressively (becoming angry or rageful), the healthiest way is to relate from a place of self-respect and authenticity — while you speak your own truth. … [Read more...] about The Healthiest Way to Relate Is from a Place of Authenticity