Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a “Friends” fan. I have been since its inception so many years ago, and I’ve been known to watch a rerun every now and then. That show told an amazing story of six young people with very different personalities, values, and opinions who simply loved each other through all of it and would always have each other’s backs. It was funny and heartwarming, all at the same time. My favourite character was Chandler Bing – I loved his irreverent sense of humour and, let’s face … [Read more...] about Matthew Perry: Addiction and Recovery
Helping vs. Enabling
Expecting the addict in your life to change if you’re not willing to do the same is not only unfair - but it also won’t work well. Although your addict is responsible for his or her own choices and behaviours, as the loved one you bear some responsibility for any ways that you have contributed to these dysfunctional patterns - and you must be willing to change those first, before the addict you love so dearly will be willing to change what they have been doing. … [Read more...] about If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
The Serenity Prayer tells us that we need to “accept the things we cannot change” and to have “the courage to change the things we can.” First and foremost, we need to understand that we cannot change another person, even though we want to believe we can. Although we might be able to influence other people, the only person we can ever really change is ourselves – and we need to develop the courage to do that when our thoughts and our actions aren’t serving us well. … [Read more...] about Learn How to Use the Serenity Prayer in Your Own Life
Annie G asks: My sister has been having trouble with alcohol for about 4 years now. We‘ve sent her to rehab twice but she relapsed both times. My parents have been keeping her afloat financially for many years – which I don’t understand because she works full time and has enough money to buy her alcohol. That really makes me mad! About 3 months ago, she married a guy she barely knew when they went to Vegas together and even though he knows she’s a problem drinker (at the very least), he … [Read more...] about A sibling who relapses after rehab
From Anonymous: I heard you say in your TEDx talk that we may be “loving our addicts to death.” That scared me – how do I know if I’m doing that with my addict? Hi Anonymous, this has to do with the crucial difference between enabling and helping – and I’m so glad you asked about this. When we enable someone, we are basically doing for them what they can – and should – be doing for themselves. When we do this with the addicts we love, over an extended period of time, we are actually … [Read more...] about How do I know if I’m “loving my addict to death” as you mentioned in your TEDx talk?