Expecting the addict in your life to change if you’re not willing to do the same is not only unfair - but it also won’t work well. Although your addict is responsible for his or her own choices and behaviours, as the loved one you bear some responsibility for any ways that you have contributed to these dysfunctional patterns - and you must be willing to change those first, before the addict you love so dearly will be willing to change what they have been doing. … [Read more...] about If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
Addiction in the family
The Serenity Prayer tells us that we need to “accept the things we cannot change” and to have “the courage to change the things we can.” First and foremost, we need to understand that we cannot change another person, even though we want to believe we can. Although we might be able to influence other people, the only person we can ever really change is ourselves – and we need to develop the courage to do that when our thoughts and our actions aren’t serving us well. … [Read more...] about Learn How to Use the Serenity Prayer in Your Own Life
Annie G asks: My sister has been having trouble with alcohol for about 4 years now. We‘ve sent her to rehab twice but she relapsed both times. My parents have been keeping her afloat financially for many years – which I don’t understand because she works full time and has enough money to buy her alcohol. That really makes me mad! About 3 months ago, she married a guy she barely knew when they went to Vegas together and even though he knows she’s a problem drinker (at the very least), he … [Read more...] about A sibling who relapses after rehab
Burnout among health care professionals has become a common and critical problem affecting staff, the agencies for which they work, and the clients they serve. As a therapist working in the health care system for over 30 years, I have seen a great many of my colleagues suffer from the various types of stress that can adversely affect workers in this field. I have watched some of them “burn out,” using up their paid sick time, taking stress leaves, resorting to unhealthy coping behaviours, and … [Read more...] about When Healers Burn Out: Causes and Prevention of Occupational Stress Among Health Care Professionals
Anonymous asks: My sister has been an addict for over 10 years – how do I know when it’s time to slam the door and say “I’m done!” Hi Anonymous, The truth is that only you will know when that time has come. When we’ve been putting up with the bad behaviours associated with active addiction, there is an ending point for many people. That being said, it’s also possible that if you try some different responses with your sister, you might find that she responds differently to you too. For … [Read more...] about How do I know when it’s time to say “I’m done!” with an addict?