From Anonymous: I heard you say in your TEDx talk that we may be “loving our addicts to death.” That scared me – how do I know if I’m doing that with my addict? Hi Anonymous, this has to do with the crucial difference between enabling and helping – and I’m so glad you asked about this. When we enable someone, we are basically doing for them what they can – and should – be doing for themselves. When we do this with the addicts we love, over an extended period of time, we are actually … [Read more...] about How do I know if I’m “loving my addict to death” as you mentioned in your TEDx talk?
The importance of balanced self-care cannot be overstated - both for you and for the addict you love. When we take care of ourselves, we develop our self-respect, which in turn lowers our need for choosing addictive behaviours. Whether it’s you deciding to stop any enabling you might be doing, or your addict making the decision to go into recovery, a sense of self-care and self-respect will be the springboard for these healthy choices. … [Read more...] about Holistic Self-Care Is Vital to a Healthy Recovery
From Nancy A.: I want to set boundaries with my addicted son, but I know he’s going to get angry at me if I do. I feel scared because that has not gone well in the past. How do I stop saying “yes” all the time and set boundaries with him anyway? Hi Nancy – you are asking one of the best and most common questions ever! So many loved ones of addicts are scared to set boundaries for this very reason. Please know that you’re not alone in this. When we know that someone can be abusive or … [Read more...] about How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
Have you ever wondered about the impact of your thoughts? By now, most people have either seen the movie The Secret or have heard about it. By showing a number of different situations and how people respond to them, The Secret teaches that we are creating our lives with every thought we have, every second of the day. What an amazing idea! What We Put Out Comes Back to Us The Secret addresses the idea of the Law of Attraction, which you may already be familiar with. This "Law" simply states … [Read more...] about What Are You Thinking? How Your Thoughts Affect Your Recovery from Addiction
Simon asks: My brother has a habit of showing up at my front door in the middle of the night drunk and stoned. He keeps waking me out of a sound sleep when he pounds on the door and rings my doorbell. Sometimes he yells loud enough that he wakes up the neighbours and I have gotten complaints. I’m super frustrated but I don’t want to call the police on him. How can I stop him from doing this? Thanks for your question, Simon. The only way to really stop him is to set appropriate boundaries and … [Read more...] about My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned