For many loved ones of people with addiction, the need to avoid conflict is at the core of their enabling behaviours. When we learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way, we can then be more authentic in our relationships. … [Read more...] about What is Really Behind the Need to Enable?
Helping vs. Enabling
There are 3 basic ways to respond to life: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Although it may be tempting sometimes to respond passively (playing small) or aggressively (becoming angry or rageful), the healthiest way is to relate from a place of self-respect and authenticity — while you speak your own truth. … [Read more...] about The Healthiest Way to Relate Is from a Place of Authenticity
When we learn how to deal with other people’s anger, frustration or disappointment toward us, we can then become emotionally free to be our authentic selves. … [Read more...] about You CAN Live Conflict-Free When You Love an Addict
It’s important to be able to distinguish between unhealthy messages you may be giving the addict in your life (enabling) and healthier messages (helping). Otherwise, we can run the risk of keeping the addicts we love stuck in their addiction. … [Read more...] about How to Support Your Addict in Healthy Ways
For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I love the Serenity Prayer. I’m not a fan of the way it’s recited at the end of every 12-Step meeting, in a quick, sing-song kind of way. In fact, even as I said it that way with everybody else for the first 10 years of my own recovery from many addictive behaviours, I began to feel curious about this Prayer and what it really meant. As I dug deeper, I discovered it to be one of the simplest, most profound pieces of writing I … [Read more...] about Am I Helping or Enabling? The Wisdom to Know the Difference