Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself:
The Top 10 Survival Tips of Loving Someone with an Addiction
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword by Caroline Sutherland
Foreword by Suzanne Jean
Welcome to Your Life – A Dramatically Fresh Approach To Loving an Addicted Person
Self-Respect — What a Concept!
What I’ve Learned About Addicts and Their Loved Ones
You Can Only Change Yourself
Loving Someone with an Addiction: A Life of Chaos
The Dynamics of Addiction
Do You Love an Addict?
“It’s Not That Bad…Is It?”
Yes, It Really Is That Bad!
Helping versus Enabling
Focusing on Yourself
Understanding Addiction in a New Way
The Three Faces of Fear: Why People use Addictive Behaviors
What is Addiction, Really?
Types of Addiction: The Difference between Mind-Altering and Mood-Altering
Addiction as a Choice
Survival Tip: #1: Come Face-to-Face with Reality
Secrets and Lies
Ways to Avoid Harsh Realities
Survival Tip #2: Discover How To Love an Addicted Person – and Stay Healthy
The Importance of Personal Self-Care
Jump-Starting Your Own Self-Care
Survival Tip #3: You Cannot Control or Fix Another Person, so Stop Trying!
Your Growing-Up Years
Unlearning Old Behaviors
The Serenity Prayer Can Help
Survival Tip #4: Stop Blaming Other People and Become Willing to Look at Yourself
Blaming is a No-Win Situation
Learn How to Support Yourself
Are you in an “Enmeshed” Relationship?
Hank and Laura Stop Blaming and Begin Healing
Healthier Boundaries Increase Your Self-Respect
Survival Tip #5: Learn the Difference Between “Helping” and “Enabling”
Why You Keep Trying to Help
Codependency and Enabling
“But I’m Such a Nice Person!”
Michael and Judy: Enabling versus Helping
We Teach Other People How to Treat Us
Are you Helping or Enabling?
Shifting out of Codependency and into Healthy Assertiveness
Survival Tip #6: Don’t Give in to Manipulation
Saying No to an Addict
Andy’s Parents Feel Powerless
A Quick Review of Helping and Enabling
Survival Tip #7: Ask Yourself the “Magic Question”
The Magic Question
Jack and Sally Clean House
How the Magic Question Can Help You
Survival Tip #8: Know That “Self-Care” Does Not Equal “Selfish”
Self-Care — My Favorite Topic
The People-Pleaser’s Creed
The Self-Care Creed
The Difference between Self-Care and Selfishness
The Four Areas of Holistic Self-Care
Pamela Teaches Jason How to Treat Her
Survival Tip #9: Rebuild Your Life
Acceptance and Serenity Come First
The Need to Rebuild and the Courage to Change
How to Begin? Try Some Baby Steps
Belle’s Baby Steps
Rebuilding Is an Ongoing Process
Survival Tip #10: Don’t Wait Until the Situation is Really Bad – Reach Out for Help Now!
How Bad is “Really Bad”?
Your Different Options
Addiction Affects Everyone
What Do We Do Now?
Everyone Needs to Heal
How to Recover from Any Addictive Behavior: Accepting the Realities of Life
The Truth about People-Pleasing: Your Recovery from Codependency
The Top 3 Secrets to Stop People-Pleasing with Your Addicted Loved Ones
Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act
About the Author
Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction
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