Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself:

The Top 10 Survival Tips of Loving Someone with an Addiction

Foreword

Foreword by Caroline Sutherland
Foreword by Suzanne Jean

Acknowledgments

My Story

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to Your Life – A Dramatically Fresh Approach To Loving an Addicted Person

Self-Respect — What a Concept!
What I’ve Learned About Addicts and Their Loved Ones
You Can Only Change Yourself
An Invitation

CHAPTER 1

Loving Someone with an Addiction: A Life of Chaos

The Dynamics of Addiction
Do You Love an Addict?
“It’s Not That Bad…Is It?”
Yes, It Really Is That Bad!
Helping versus Enabling
Focusing on Yourself

CHAPTER 2

Understanding Addiction in a New Way

The Three Faces of Fear: Why People use Addictive Behaviors
What is Addiction, Really?
Types of Addiction: The Difference between Mind-Altering and Mood-Altering
Addiction as a Choice

CHAPTER 3

Survival Tip: #1: Come Face-to-Face with Reality

Secrets and Lies
Ways to Avoid Harsh Realities
Facing Reality

CHAPTER 4

Survival Tip #2: Discover How To Love an Addicted Person – and Stay Healthy

Janna’s Dilemma
The Importance of Personal Self-Care
Jump-Starting Your Own Self-Care

CHAPTER 5

Survival Tip #3: You Cannot Control or Fix Another Person, so Stop Trying!

Your Growing-Up Years
Unlearning Old Behaviors
The Serenity Prayer Can Help

CHAPTER 6

Survival Tip #4: Stop Blaming Other People and Become Willing to Look at Yourself

Blaming is a No-Win Situation
Learn How to Support Yourself
Are you in an “Enmeshed” Relationship?
Hank and Laura Stop Blaming and Begin Healing
Healthier Boundaries Increase Your Self-Respect

CHAPTER 7

Survival Tip #5: Learn the Difference Between “Helping” and “Enabling”

Why You Keep Trying to Help
Codependency and Enabling
“But I’m Such a Nice Person!”
Michael and Judy: Enabling versus Helping
We Teach Other People How to Treat Us
Are you Helping or Enabling?
Shifting out of Codependency and into Healthy Assertiveness

CHAPTER 8

Survival Tip #6: Don’t Give in to Manipulation

Saying No to an Addict
Andy’s Parents Feel Powerless
A Quick Review of Helping and Enabling

CHAPTER 9

Survival Tip #7: Ask Yourself the “Magic Question”

The Magic Question
Jack and Sally Clean House
How the Magic Question Can Help You

CHAPTER 10

Survival Tip #8: Know That “Self-Care” Does Not Equal “Selfish”

Self-Care — My Favorite Topic
The People-Pleaser’s Creed
The Self-Care Creed
The Difference between Self-Care and Selfishness
The Four Areas of Holistic Self-Care
Pamela Teaches Jason How to Treat Her

CHAPTER 11

Survival Tip #9: Rebuild Your Life

Acceptance and Serenity Come First
The Need to Rebuild and the Courage to Change
How to Begin? Try Some Baby Steps
Belle’s Baby Steps
Rebuilding Is an Ongoing Process

CHAPTER 12

Survival Tip #10: Don’t Wait Until the Situation is Really Bad – Reach Out for Help Now!

How Bad is “Really Bad”?
Your Different Options
Addiction Affects Everyone
What Do We Do Now?
Everyone Needs to Heal
In Conclusion

In Review

How to Recover from Any Addictive Behavior: Accepting the Realities of Life
The Truth about People-Pleasing: Your Recovery from Codependency
The Top 3 Secrets to Stop People-Pleasing with Your Addicted Loved Ones
Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act

About the Author

Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction

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