In my last post, I wrote about Jessica’s manipulation of her parents and how they consistently gave in to her demands, allowing her disruptive and destructive behaviour to continue.By accepting that behaviour and not challenging their daughter, Jessica’s parents enabled her for many years. They posed no consequences for her and set the bar very low in terms of their expectations—and Jessica continued to live up to exactly the standard that they set. … [Read more...] about Saying NO to Manipulation: What Happens When We Enable an Addict?
Addiction in the family
Are You the Loved One of an Addict? Saying NO to Manipulation
I am a firm believer that we teach other people how to treat us.The way people treat us generally has its roots in the way we treat ourselves as well as how we decide to show up in the world. Are we assertive and clear with our boundaries, or do we allow other people to push us around? Do we practice healthy self-care, even while we may be caregivers to family members? Is our self-respect non-negotiable, even when we are experiencing difficulties in our lives?Or—do we allow anxiety and fear to … [Read more...] about Are You the Loved One of an Addict? Saying NO to Manipulation
How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or Your Loved One Has an Addiction
Another year has gone by and “The Holidays” are fast approaching – although if you’re anything like me, you’re still wondering where September went! The time has come when we are once again seeing commercials on TV and in magazines about how wonderful the Christmas season is, that it is better to give than to receive, and how warm and loving families are, especially at this time of year. … [Read more...] about How to Enjoy the Holidays When You or Your Loved One Has an Addiction
Attention All Loved Ones of Addicts: Let’s Come out of the Shame Closet and Recover!
SEPTEMBER IS RECOVERY MONTH Do you know that September is Recovery Month? I think it’s amazing that a whole month has been set aside as a time to honor recovery from addiction—this shows that the times definitely are a-changin’ and that a great many more people are getting the message that recovery truly is possible. This is great for those who are struggling with addictive behaviors—from alcohol and drugs to gambling, to compulsive over-spending, to sex addiction, to Internet addiction, … [Read more...] about Attention All Loved Ones of Addicts: Let’s Come out of the Shame Closet and Recover!
“I Know I’m Enabling But….” Recovery from Addiction in the Family
After working for nearly 25 years with the loved ones of people struggling with addiction, I’m still amazed by how many come to their first session with me and say “I know I’m enabling, but…” Do you have an addicted loved one in your life? Are you already aware that you’re doing things you probably shouldn’t be doing, in the guise of ‘helping’ them? And even if you’re not getting the results you’re hoping for, do you still continue to enable them anyway—often for way too long? A logical … [Read more...] about “I Know I’m Enabling But….” Recovery from Addiction in the Family
