LL Asks: As my adult child gets off crack, should we move to another apartment so the room where he took drugs is not familiar or a trigger?
Hi LL,
I’m glad you wrote to me. What I’m hearing from your question is about how you can be most supportive of your son as he tries to get off crack, and I think that it’s terrific that you want to support him. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do that.
As for moving to another apartment, if this is something you can afford and you have thought of moving before, that might be a good idea. What I would want to make sure is that you are not doing something inconvenient for you. I know you want your son to get better and follow a path of recovery—and I hope, for his sake and yours, that he chooses to do that. But what if you make this move only for him and then he uses again?
Recovery happens when the addicted person chooses to live a clean and sober life. It doesn’t happen because we want it for him. It is totally his choice, it is about what he wants. To be able to truly help you to help him, I would need more information about your circumstances—for example, have you been enabling him in the past, what kinds of boundaries have you set, and how has that worked for you?
I encourage you to find out how we help family members of addicts at Love With Boundaries by having a free 30-minute consultation with us. All you have to do is fill out our short questionnaire and then we will get in touch with you to set up a time—and please know that there will be no pressure on you at all to work with us, as that is a choice only you can make.
Here is the link. I hope we hear from you!
All my best,
Candace
