As the year draws to a close and the holiday season rapidly approaches, it’s easy to feel like time has slipped through our fingers. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were welcoming September?
Now, everywhere we turn, we’re reminded of the joy and warmth that the holiday season is supposed to bring. Advertisements paint a picture of perfect families, generous giving, and festive cheer. But the reality is often far from this idealized image.
This year, like the last, and the one before, has been marked by loss for many – loss due opioid overdoses, Covid-19, and other heartbreaking circumstances. Even with more people choosing to travel to be with loved ones this year, the holiday season will be a challenging time for many families.
For those who haven’t experienced such loss, this time of year can still be difficult. The pressure to have a ‘perfect’ holiday can lead to feelings of loneliness, disappointment, and even shame. And when addiction is part of the equation, the holiday season can feel far from merry.
If any of the following scenarios resonate with you, this article will hopefully provide some helpful strategies for navigating the holiday season.
If you are in the midst of active addiction…
First, if you’re currently battling addiction and have chosen to read this article, I commend you. This likely means you’re inching closer to seeking help. Please remember—you’re not alone in your feelings of shame, guilt, hopelessness, and despair. Every year, thousands of people worldwide overcome their addictions. I’ve done it, and you can too!
If you’d like this holiday season to go more smoothly, it might be more beneficial for you to check into a detox or treatment centre, or reach out to a professional Addictions Counsellor, rather than spending time with family. This could help you avoid the arguments and disappointments that may have marred past holidays.
Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, 16-Step, or SMART Recovery can provide a sense of community and understanding. If you’re unsure of your next step, consider seeking help from a trained professional to explore your options.
If you are in the early stages of recovery…
“Early recovery” typically refers to the first year of abstaining from your most destructive addictive behaviour. If you’re in this stage and involved in a self-help group, there may be alternatives to spending the holidays with family. These could include potluck dinners, dances, social activities, and extra meetings. Many of these groups continue to operate online, offering chat rooms and meetings where you can discuss your feelings and receive support.
If you’re not involved in a structured recovery program, spending time with understanding friends can be a wise alternative. If you decide to spend the holiday with family, it’s a good idea to have some support lined up. This could include checking out local or online support group meetings, keeping in touch with non-using friends or your sponsor, or booking appointments with your counsellor or therapist during your time with your family.
If you are a loved one of someone with an addiction...
If you’re struggling with a family member’s addiction and have invited them to your family gathering, you may be tempted to over-function to ensure everything goes smoothly. However, it’s important to address your loved one’s addiction BEFORE the event.
For example, if your loved one is an alcoholic, let them know beforehand that you expect them to remain sober. If they choose to drink, let them know before the event that you will ask them to leave. If your loved one doesn’t agree to this boundary, it may be best not to invite them this year.
Setting these boundaries takes time and practice, but it’s possible. If you need help, reach out to a professional counsellor or therapist. Many therapists work during the holiday season because they understand the need for support during this time.
I hope these suggestions will help you navigate the holiday season. Remember, the goal is to do what helps you maintain your self-respect and emotional stability during this potentially challenging time.
Wishing you a peaceful holiday season!
