When people are selfish, they basically want what they want when they want it – and they will step on whoever they need to in order to get it. Self-care, on the other hand, focuses primarily on learning how to take the best care of ourselves that we can – as holistically as possible – so that we are there for ourselves and also have the desire and the energy to help those we care about. In my opinion, that is a very clear – and important – distinction. … [Read more...] about The Difference between “Self-Care” and “Selfish”
Healthy self-care
How to Stay Healthy While Loving an Addict
When you love someone who is still in active addiction, it’s easy to become emotionally enmeshed in all of their ongoing chaos and drama. Here is a simple gauge you can use for your own self-assessment. … [Read more...] about How to Stay Healthy While Loving an Addict
From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
Ah, Valentine's Day, the fantasy-filled holiday that comes right after we've managed to get ourselves through another year of Christmas and New Year's Eve! Have you ever wondered whose bright idea it was to have those three holidays in a row? For many people, the 3-month period of December through February can be the most difficult and depressing time of the year, and this is especially true for those whose significant relationships are problematic. For people with addictive behaviours, as … [Read more...] about From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care
Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
First published on December 14, 2012. Has anyone else noticed how early the Christmas chaos began this year? I recall a few years ago here in Vancouver, a number of people became so disgruntled by the early onset of Christmas music in some of the stores—in the middle of October—that they took to Facebook en masse and complained. One store in particular, Shoppers Drug Mart, appeased the naysayers by stopping that music, but only after they drew their line in the sand, assuring us that the … [Read more...] about Addicted to Christmas Chaos? Taming the Madness this Holiday Season
Holistic Self-Care When Loving an Addict
Recently, while working with a client (I’ll call her Jane) who is the loved one of an addict, she made a significant discovery. We were talking about the importance of Jane’s self-care, an important subject I frequently discuss with all of my clients. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I don’t feel like I know how to take care of myself—I don’t know what I want or how to ask for it.”“I don’t know how to set healthier boundaries because I don’t even know what those boundaries … [Read more...] about Holistic Self-Care When Loving an Addict
