From Nancy A.: I want to set boundaries with my addicted son, but I know he’s going to get angry at me if I do. I feel scared because that has not gone well in the past. How do I stop saying “yes” all the time and set boundaries with him anyway? Hi Nancy – you are asking one of the best and most common questions ever! So many loved ones of addicts are scared to set boundaries for this very reason. Please know that you’re not alone in this. When we know that someone can be abusive or … [Read more...] about How do I set boundaries despite my son’s anger?
Simon asks: My brother has a habit of showing up at my front door in the middle of the night drunk and stoned. He keeps waking me out of a sound sleep when he pounds on the door and rings my doorbell. Sometimes he yells loud enough that he wakes up the neighbours and I have gotten complaints. I’m super frustrated but I don’t want to call the police on him. How can I stop him from doing this? Thanks for your question, Simon. The only way to really stop him is to set appropriate boundaries and … [Read more...] about My brother shows up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned
SK asks: I keep hearing stories from my daughter about how awful her boyfriend is, how bad he treats her and how miserable she is but she won’t break up with him. What’s going on and how can I help? Hi SK, The reality is that you can’t make her do anything, such as break up with him. That won’t happen until she makes the choice that she is worth more than the kind of treatment she’s getting, and that she is interested in building her own self-respect. It’s possible that the best way to help … [Read more...] about My daughter’s boyfriend mistreats her
Charlotte asks: My husband is coming home late from work almost every night now. His excuse is that there are a lot of projects his firm is working on, and that they go out to dinner together afterwards. But when he comes home, he seems different and I’m wondering if he might be using drugs? I don’t smell alcohol but he always seems so tired, just wanting to fall into bed and go to sleep before we have a chance to have any conversation. This is happening a lot now and I’m feeling very lonely in … [Read more...] about I’m wondering if my husband might be using drugs
From YJ: My oldest son has just gotten his 2nd DUI and has been given a hefty fine. His car has also been impounded for 3 months. My husband, who is his major enabler, is ‘loaning’ him the money to pay the fine (even though we will probably never get it back) and has begun to drive him wherever he wants to go. I can’t believe this is happening! My husband and I are fighting about it constantly and I’m afraid we might end up in divorce court. Your book has been really great in helping me open my … [Read more...] about My husband and I are fighting about him enabling our son