Mike T asks: My girlfriend is a heroin addict. It’s really affecting our relationship but I don’t want to leave her. I love her a lot and she needs me. Hi Mike, When someone is an addict, especially with mind-altering substances like heroin, they simply will not be able to be emotionally present with you. Your girlfriend’s addiction is going to take priority for her. This is why your relationship is being affected like that. Loving someone sometimes means doing things that are difficult. When … [Read more...] about My girlfriend is a heroin addict, and it’s affecting our relationship
Ask Candace
How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
Penny C. asks: How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely? He doesn’t seem to want to do that. Hi Penny, The way it works is that if loved ones want to see changes in the addicts they love, they will need to make some changes within themselves first. (This is a process, and you may need to seek out some help with it.) So what you can say to him is “I don’t want to live with someone who drinks anymore. I would like our relationship to continue, and I’m hoping you’re … [Read more...] about How do I tell my husband that I want him to stop drinking entirely?
How do I know if my daughter is using?
JN asks: How do I know if my daughter is using? I think she is but she tells me she’s not. She lives with me so we go through this with each other fairly often. Thanks for your question, JN. It will depend on whether she's using mind-altering substances or mood-altering behaviours (like gambling, shopping, etc.). And sometimes it’s harder to tell with drugs than with alcohol, because there is little or no smell with most of them. But if you’ve been in this situation for a while with your … [Read more...] about How do I know if my daughter is using?
If my daughter leaves rehab, what do I do?
M.T. asks: My daughter is in rehab but is saying she might not stay. I’ve been paying her rent for a while and I’m continuing to do that while she’s there. If she leaves, what do I do? Hi M.T., The main message here is that you will no longer support her addiction but you will support her recovery. If she leaves treatment against the advice of the staff there, then out of a place of love for her, you can tell her you will no longer be paying her rent. If you enable her in any way, … [Read more...] about If my daughter leaves rehab, what do I do?
What do you mean when you say that addiction is a “choice”?
Annie asks: What do you mean when you say that addiction is a “choice”? Hi Annie – great question! I don’t believe that anyone chooses to become an addict – I know I didn’t. And in fact, most addicts never think they will be the ones to become addicted – that’s for the other guy. So I don’t believe that anyone signs up for Addiction 101, thinking “Yes, let’s be an addict, that will be fun!” But in every addict’s life, there comes a time when they know their lives are a mess. They look … [Read more...] about What do you mean when you say that addiction is a “choice”?
