Q: My son has suffered from alcohol abuse for 20 years, and he is getting worse. How do I know when to help versus enable him? That's a really good question because it's important to understand the difference between enabling and helping. When we enable an addict, we're doing something for them that they really can and should be doing for themselves and what we know today is that enabled addicts do not recover because they really have no incentive to do so. “Should” is not a word I use often, … [Read more...] about How Do I Know When I’m Helping and Not Enabling?
Ask Candace
My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
Dear Candace, My son has had addiction issues for close to 10 years, and his ex-wife even longer. His addiction escalated when his oldest daughter was a senior in high school. She went off to college which got her physically out of the situation, and her younger sister who was 12 at the time came to live with us, and is now 20 and in her third year of college. My son's addiction escalated to being arrested a few times, about three years ago he showed up in really bad shape claiming that he … [Read more...] about My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth
Hi Candace! My son has been addicted to crystal meth off and on for 2 years now. Suddenly he is starting to be mean to me and blames me for everything. He is also mentally and physically disabled. I have tried everything to help him except putting him out of the house. I can't quite bring myself to do it, even though the cops (who I have had to call, lately) recommend it. He is very thin and his health is suffering but refuses to go to a real doctor. I even Marchman acted him recently but they … [Read more...] about My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth
Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
Janet A. asks: Our 37-year-old son began smoking pot in his teens but is now using dangerous drugs like fentanyl on a daily basis. My husband and I have been trying to get him to stop, probably enabling him, but we’re not on the same page in the ways we think we should help him, and nothing is working. His brother and sisters are very worried too. Help? Hi Janet, I’m so glad you wrote to me about this. You’ve mentioned some really important things in your short question – thank you for … [Read more...] about Addiction Is a Progressive Condition
Online Gambling
Our 34-year-old son likes to buy things and gamble online. He is very lonely and doesn’t have much else going on in his life, and we feel sorry for him. The problem is that he isn’t working so he doesn’t have his own money. We’ve been letting him live with us without paying rent because he can’t afford his own place. Sometimes we give him money to gamble and buy his useless stuff with, but sometimes when we say no he takes our credit cards and secretly uses them. Some months we have found … [Read more...] about Online Gambling
