Focusing all of your attention on the addict in your life – especially if they are still choosing to stay in active addiction – is not good for either of you. When we consistently do for them what they can – and should – be doing for themselves, we enable them by robbing them of the feeling of knowing their own resiliency. This keeps you in a state of worry and keeps the addict stuck in addictive behaviours.
Douglas Gudmadson says
Having a loved one who is struggling with addiction is devastating. There is a distinctive line between enabling vs helping. By learning and understanding the do’s and don’ts of my behaviours I’ll be better prepared to stop being an enabler. As of late by setting boundaries for my son is an ultimatum unto which he has the choice to make change to empower himself. I believe we are all hardwired to to survive and my son is extremely resilient. I trust he will make the right choices and I will continue on with your exceptional wisdom.
Candace Plattor says
Hi Doug, thank you for your kind words! I’m so glad for you – and for your son and the rest of your family – that you’re starting to understand and change your enabling behaviours. This will give your son, who I know you love very much, the chance to choose recovery – and we all hope he will make that choice.
Candace