Many loved ones of addicts who are still choosing to be in active addiction know that they have been contributing to that choice by enabling them. They want to stop and practice healthier behaviours with the addicts they love, but they often don’t know how to begin to do that. If that is your situation, please reach out for help – you don’t have to make these important changes all alone. … [Read more...] about How Can “Enabling” Ever Be a Loving Act?
Archives for 2023
After a four-year break from in-person conferences, the Canadian Centre on Substance Use & Addiction returned with its Issues of Substance conference—this time at the Convention Centre in beautiful downtown Vancouver, BC! The event was held from November 20th to 22nd. At Love With Boundaries, we knew that we needed to be a part of this amazing collaboration of research and ideas in the field of Addiction, Mental Health and Recovery, so we packed up our offices and headed down there for … [Read more...] about The 2023 CCSA Issues of Substance Conference
Just like an addict needs to reach some kind of bottom to finally make the choice to change, it is the same for loved ones of addicts. If enabling the addict you love is not bringing the results you want to see, then you may want to ask yourself if you’re ready to make a different choice. … [Read more...] about Have you reached a bottom with your own enabling behaviours?
Self-respect is an ‘inside job’ – we develop it by doing the next right thing for ourselves and then the next right thing after that. I can’t give you your self-respect and you can’t give me mine. But we can encourage each other to take the best care of ourselves that we can, because active addiction and self-respect cannot coexist. I know which one I choose today – how about you? … [Read more...] about The Vicious Cycle of Low Self-Respect
When we put the desires of the addict we love ahead of our own needs on a consistent basis, we are not actually helping the addict. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and develop their own resiliency and self-respect. If we continually rescue them from dealing with the realities of life, they will have absolutely no incentive to choose recovery from addiction. We need to love them enough to do what’s right for them – no more enabling! – even if that’s hard for us. … [Read more...] about Enabling an Addict is Never a Loving Act