T.C. Asks: How do you stay firm in your decision to want out of a relationship with an addict who has an it’s-only-on-weekends-I-can-control-it attitude? I have been doing this for 27 years and I don't know how to make this individual understand a weekend is not only a weekend, it’s sending them back into addiction. I have grown tired, and because this individual works every day and doesn't spend money on their habits, I am supposed to ignore the concerns for their health, etc. Hi … [Read more...] about How do I stay firm in my decision with an addict?
Archives for 2022
Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a “Friends” fan. I have been since its inception so many years ago, and I’ve been known to watch a rerun every now and then. That show told an amazing story of six young people with very different personalities, values, and opinions who simply loved each other through all of it and would always have each other’s backs. It was funny and heartwarming, all at the same time. My favourite character was Chandler Bing – I loved his irreverent sense of humour and, let’s face … [Read more...] about Matthew Perry: Addiction and Recovery
M.R. asks: I’ve heard that relapse is a “normal” part of recovery. Is that true? How likely is it that someone will relapse if they have several years clean and sober? *** Hi M.R., It’s more unlikely that people with a number of consecutive years in recovery will relapse, compared with people who are in early recovery and have a year or less clean and sober. That’s because the longer a person remains abstinent from the mind-altering substances or mood-altering behaviours that they used before … [Read more...] about How likely is it someone will relapse if they have several years clean and sober?
Expecting the addict in your life to change if you’re not willing to do the same is not only unfair - but it also won’t work well. Although your addict is responsible for his or her own choices and behaviours, as the loved one you bear some responsibility for any ways that you have contributed to these dysfunctional patterns - and you must be willing to change those first, before the addict you love so dearly will be willing to change what they have been doing. … [Read more...] about If You Want Your Addicted Loved One to Change, You Must Change Yourself First
Joanne asks: My sister has had problems with addiction on and off for about 5 years. She’s been to a couple of rehabs, and she has been clean now for about 6 months. We’re all very proud of her but we’re also worried. She was mostly using cocaine and pills, and because she wasn’t much of a drinker she now thinks it’s okay for her to drink socially since it wasn’t her “drug of choice.” Is it okay for a drug addict in recovery to drink? *** Hi Joanne, This is a great question that many family … [Read more...] about Is it okay for a drug addict in recovery to drink?