As loved ones, when we stay in denial or decide to not speak our truth in order to avoid conflict, we are basically arguing for our addict’s limitations. Sometimes, when addicts hear someone tell them the truth about how their addiction is affecting other people, they make the choice to relapse – perhaps to show others how emotionally fragile they are. But this coping mechanism is usually a manipulation, designed to teach their loved ones not to bother them – so that they can make the choice to … [Read more...] about Setting Boundaries with Your Addicted Loved One
Archives for 2021
Recovery from Codependency: Self-Awareness Is the Key
Here we all are, drawing closer to leaving 2021 behind and beginning a new year. These past 12 months have been momentous in so many ways – and I know that you don’t need me to go into much detail about that. For some of us, this year that’s ending has included much loss and grieving – of people we loved, of businesses and jobs that evaporated because of Covid-19 and other factors. For other people, there were opportunities for growth and well-being – with all kinds of shades of grey in between … [Read more...] about Recovery from Codependency: Self-Awareness Is the Key
Allowing the Addict You Love to Be Uncomfortable in Their Addiction
When an addict becomes “comfortable” remaining in active addiction, they will have no real incentive to do anything different. When we take care of their needs – financial, physical, and emotional – so that they are not required to do much, if anything, for themselves, then we also take away their chance at a real and lasting recovery. … [Read more...] about Allowing the Addict You Love to Be Uncomfortable in Their Addiction
Addiction and the Holidays: Doing It Differently This Year
Another year has gone by and “The Holidays” are fast approaching – although if you’re anything like me, you’re still wondering where September went! The time has come when we are once again seeing commercials on TV and in magazines about how wonderful the Christmas season is, that it is better to give than to receive, and how warm and loving families are, especially at this time of year. But the reality is that, for many people, this is not a time of peace and joy . . . And that is especially … [Read more...] about Addiction and the Holidays: Doing It Differently This Year
Let’s Give Addicts Their Power Back!
In my opinion, our society has become the worst ‘addict’ walking our streets. Its drug of choice? An old, outdated way of thinking that’s actually keeping our world stuck in the horrors of addiction. We’ve been taught to believe that addicts are powerless. Twelve-step programs have, for decades, been our country’s go-to solution for addiction in all of its forms. These programs teach us to implement Steps that are based on the notion that there’s a disease to blame, and that the only solution … [Read more...] about Let’s Give Addicts Their Power Back!
