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Candace Plattor, M.A.Registered Clinical Counsellor
Candace Plattor, M.A.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

Archives for 2016

April 25, 2016 by Candace Plattor

If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door

A while ago, I was going through my newsfeed on Facebook, when I came across this proclamation: If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door. I thought it was one of the most brilliant pieces of wisdom I’d ever heard—so of course I immediately stole it and shared it on my own Facebook page too. And I’ve been using it—with clients, with friends, and with myself—ever since. How many times have we all tried to manipulate situations and relationships to make them work out the way we wanted? How often … [Read more...] about If It Doesn’t Open… It’s Not Your Door

Filed Under: Helping vs. Enabling, Loving an addict Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction in the family, Helping vs. Enabling, if a loved one is struggling with addiction, loving an addict

March 29, 2016 by Candace Plattor

When You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going: Having the Courage to Stay the Course

What I Know TodayAfter over 25 years of working with clients struggling with addiction—and those who so dearly love them—not too much surprises me anymore. Not only have I survived many of my own difficult past experiences, I’ve also heard about—and witnessed—a great many traumatic stories from both addicts and their loved ones. I’m constantly awed by the resilience of the human spirit, especially when people have the intention to rise above the tremendous grief that could otherwise totally take … [Read more...] about When You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going: Having the Courage to Stay the Course

Filed Under: Healthy self-care Tagged With: coming out of hell, dark night of the soul, going through hell, lessons, Loving yourself, self-care, self-respect, spiritual growth, taking responsibility

March 2, 2016 by Candace Plattor

Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2

Continued from article posted February 24th. Click here to read Reasons 10 to 6.#5 – Others around you are watching what you’re doing.When we deal with an addict of any kind, there are always ripple effects that occur—positive or negative.Consider a scenario such as this: Your teen or adult child is actively using drugs or other addictive behaviours. If you are enabling this person and you have other children, they will be watching as you ‘favour’ the addict, even while the others are trying to … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 2

Filed Under: Addiction and Codependency, Helping vs. Enabling Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction in the family, Helping vs. Enabling, loving an addict, Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones

February 24, 2016 by Candace Plattor

Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1

We all know that addiction is rampant—it’s a horrific problem for far too many people, all over the world. And even though ‘addiction’ can take many forms, from mind-altering substances to mood-altering behaviours, one thing is for sure: Most everyone on the planet today is either affected by addiction—their own or somebody else’s—or they know someone who is.These days, I work primarily with the loved ones of addicts because that is where the changes need to happen first—or at the very least, in … [Read more...] about Addiction and Codependency: The Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love, Part 1

Filed Under: Addiction and Codependency Tagged With: Addiction, Addiction and Codependency, Addiction in the family, codependency, enabling, Helping vs. Enabling, loving an addict, Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones

February 8, 2016 by Candace Plattor

From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care

First published on February 11, 2013Ah, Valentine's Day, the fantasy-filled holiday that comes right after we've managed to get ourselves through another year of Christmas and New Year's Eve!Have you ever wondered whose bright idea it was to have those three holidays in a row? For many people, the 3-month period of December through February can be the most difficult and depressing time of the year, and this is especially true for those whose significant relationships are problematic. For people … [Read more...] about From Fantasy to Reality on Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself with Healthy Self-Care

Filed Under: Healthy self-care, Loving yourself Tagged With: Healthy self-care, loving an addict, Loving yourself, Valentine's Day

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Recent Posts

  • How do we deal with the shame that comes from living with an addict?
  • Loving an Addict Without Losing Yourself
  • The 16 Steps: An Alternative to 12-Step Programs
  • Reborn in Recovery:
    A New Life Beyond Addiction
  • The “Magic Question” Can Tell You a Lot

TEDxBearCreekPark talk: How to Love with Boundaries

TEDxBearCreekPark talk:
How to Love with Boundaries

Candace Plattor speaking at TEDx

If nothing ever changed

“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”

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